"I'm sorry." I know it's the universal default, but the problem is, one's first knee-jerk response when someone says "I'm sorry" is to say "It's okay." We are programmed from kindergarten, from the first time the inevitable snot-nosed kid knocks over our blocks, to forgive. And it's not okay, it's as far from okay as it can really get, but there you are, tricked by a sociolinguistic tic into affirming that it is."