"Simon kissed me and I just stood there like someone had cut the cord between my brain and my muscles. Finally, the connection caught and I did kiss him, but awkwardly, some part of me still holding back, my gut twisting, like I was doing something wrong, making a huge mistake, and-- Simon stopped. For a moment, he hovered there, face above mine, until I had to look away. he said, his voice so soft I barely caught it. He eased back, and his eyes went blank, unreadable. he said. Not a question. A statement. He took another step back, the heat of his body fading, the chill of night air moving in. I stared at him. Now? Who else...? There was only one other guy-- "D-Derek? Y-you think--" I couldn't finish. I wanted to laugh. You think I like Derek? Are you kidding? But the laugh wouldn't come, just this thundering in my ears, breath catching like I'd been smacked in the chest. Just say it. Please let me say it. But I didn't. Couldn't."