It's not human to let go of love, even when it's dead. We expected one of these monthly anniversaries to be the Final Goodbye. We figured that we'd said all our goodbyes, and given up all the tears we had to give. We'd passed the test and would get back what we'd lost. But instead, every anniversary it hurt more, and every anniversary it felt like she was further away from coming back. The idea that there wouldn't be a final goodbye--that was a hard goodbye to say in itself and, at that point, still an impossible goodbye. No private eye has to tell you it's a long goodbye.