Your first novel is like your first relationship. You won't really understand the decisions you make until years later...And you'll probably screw up the ending...First love is amazing and wonderful, but a kind of panic underlies it, a sense of not knowing what you're doing. First novels are the same way...You do the best you can. But remember, it's not going to be the most polished novel you ever write, or the wisest, or the best-selling. That would be a shame, after all, to peak with your first.