"Then I put the hot barrel beneath my chin. "No." Zoeller lurched toward me, eyes wide. "No, Laney." I curled my finger around the trigger and he froze. I could see his white sclera. I'd never seen him frightened. I was only half-serious but his fear made it feel suddenly real. "Don't," he said. "This is all I want. It's all I can think about." "It's defeat. You're too strong for this." "No I'm not." I laughed, the muzzle digging into the soft meat beneath my jaw. "I'm weak, like you said." "You're better than me. I'm broken, Laney. I'm a sociopath." "If you're a sociopath, you can't feel compassion. You don't care whether I live or die." "I do. I need you. I've never met anyone like you." I rolled my eyes. "Spare me the suicide hotline bullshit. I've heard it all before. You know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well, I'm sick of this. Things are going to change." "Don't leave me," he said. The parallel of my words to Dad startled me. That gleam in his eyes wasn't madness. It was tears. Was this really happening? Look at every terrible thing he's done to me. Look at every good thing he didn't have to do, but did."