And I don't want to live like a fleeting shadow, a consumptive, no. I want to live genuinely, with the true warmth and in full bloom. I want to be a gay worshipper in the temple of the muses rather than a mere hunted prey. Each day I ask in my prayers for the ability to preserve my own inner world rather than become stifled, so that the sweet poison, which I see thousands of people sipping, may not consume me as well.