"In some of the early northern European paintings, Christ looks like you flushed him out from under a bridge, but in Sunday-school books and the sorts of pictures they sell at Christian supply stores, he falls somewhere between Kenny Loggins and Jared Leto, always doe-eyed and, of course, white, with brown--not black--hair, usually wavy. And he always has a fantastic body, shown at its best on the cross, which--face it--was practically designed to make a man's stomach and shoulders look good. What would happen, I often wonder, if someone sculpted a morbidly obese Jesus with titties and acne scars, and hair on his back? On top of that, he should be short--five foot two at most. "Sacrilege!" people would shout. But why? Doing good deeds doesn't make you good-looking." --