"The final thing I learned? I was completely and irrevocably obsessed with dicks. And also pretty damn gay. "Oh sweat balls," Paul said. "That was... something. Also? I'm confused and I have an erection. As if being fat wasn't hard enough, now I have to be sweaty and like penises. And I want a pizza. What the hell. How is this my life?" "My dearest Paul," I said finally. "I think we might be queer." "Well fuck," Paul said succinctly."