I was not the only one who made the mistake of thinking that, because it was something you talked about a lot, it was something you wouldn't do. And after all, you were not the unhappiest person we knew. You were not the most depressed (think of G, of D, or T-R). You were not even - strange as it now sounds to say - the most suicidal. Because of the timing, so near the start of the year, it was possible to think that it had been a resolution.