This logic holds true in our personal lives as well. When we were newlyweds, Anna and I met someone who had, as far as we could tell, an amazing marriage and family. We wanted to learn from him, so we asked him, What's your secret? One of the things he told us was that he and his wife had decided not to be a part of any clubs. He didn't join the local lodge. She didn't join the book clubs. It wasn't that they had no interest in those things. It was simply that they made the trade-off to spend that time with their children. Over the years their children had become their best friends--well worth the sacrifice of any friendships they might have made on the golf course or over tattered copies of Anna Karenina.