"Giuliani could never understand the price scholarship boys paid for their education: the inevitable alienation from your uncomprehending family, from roots, from your own first person, from the original "I" you once were. Angry, Felipe decided to say nothing more about Emilio Sandoz. Let Giuliani ask the man directly. But the Father General said, "So you memorize the rules and you try not to expose yourself to humiliation." "Yes." "And you are stiff and formal in direct proportion to how completely you feel out of your element."