"-Teach her that the idea of "gender roles" is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl. "Because you are a girl" is never a reason for anything. Ever. (page 14) -Being a feminist is like being pregnant. You either are or you are not. You either believe in the full equality of men and women or you do not. (page 20) -Because I do not believe that marriage is something we should teach young girls to aspire to. Try not to use words like "misogyny" and "patriarchy" too often with Chizalum. We feminists can sometimes be too jargony, and jargon can sometimes feel too abstract. Don't just label something misogynistic; tell her why it is, and tell her what would make it not be. (page 27) -Tell Chizalum that women don't actually need to be championed and revered; they just need to be treated as equal human beings. There is a patronizing undertone to the idea of women needing to be "championed" and "revered" because they are women. It makes me think of chivalry, and the premise of chivalry is female weakness. (page 29) -Never speak of marriage as an achievement. (page 30) -It feels normal, because it is so common; our world still largely values a woman's marital and maternal roles more than anything else. (page 31) -Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people. (page 36) -Many girls spend too much time trying to be "nice" to people who do them harm. Many girls think of the "feelings" of those who are hurting them. This is the catastrophic consequence of likeability. (page 37) -So instead of teaching Chizalum to be likeable, teach her to be honest. And kind. And brave. Encourage her to speak her mind, to say what she really thinks, to speak truthfully. And then praise her when she does. Tell her that kindness matters. Praise her when she is kind to other people. But teach her that her kindness must never be taken for granted. Tell her that she, too, deserves the kindness of others. Teach her to stand up for what is hers. Tell her that if someone does not like her, there will be someone else who will. (page 38) -Teach her about privilege and inequality and the importance of giving dignity to everyone who does not mean her harm-teach her that the household help is human just like her, teach her to always greet the driver. (page 41) -Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest they are. (page 43) -Teach her that saying no when no feels right is something to be proud of. (page 52) -Teach her that it is not a man's role to provide. In a healthy relationship, it is the role of whoever can provide to provide. (page 59) -Saintliness is not a prerequisite for dignity. People who are unkind and dishonest are still human, and still deserve dignity. (page 59) -Teach her about difference. Make difference ordinary. Make difference normal. Teach her not to attach value to difference. And the reason for this is not to be fair or to be nice, but merely to be human and practical. She must know and understand that people walk different paths in the world, and that as long as those paths do no harm to others, they are valid paths that she must respect. Teach her that we do not know-we cannot know-everything about life. (page 61)" --