"Allow" is a troubling word. "Allow" is about power. You will often hear members of the Nigerian chapter of the Society of Feminism Lite say, "Leave the woman alone to do what she wants as long as her husband allows." A husband is not a headmaster. A wife is not a schoolgirl. Permission and being allowed, when used one-sidedly--and it is nearly only used that way--should never be the language of an equal marriage."