"I went to the beauty salon today and got spruced up," Grandma said. "Ever since Mildred Frick called me a slut my phone hasn't stopped ringing. I got two dates for the weekend." "It might not be such a good thing to have men calling you because they think you're a slut," I said. "They're only going to be after one thing." "I hope that's true. I don't want to find out I went blond and bought all them thongs for nothing."