"One of the most profound responses to this exercise came out of a focus group I did with a group of leaders at West Point. One officer pushed me a little on "the accuracy of the intel" and kept asking, "You are 100 percent certain that this person is doing the best he can?" After I answered yes two or three times, the officer took a deep breath and said, "Then move the rock." I was confused. "What do you mean by 'move the rock'?" He shook his head. "I have to stop kicking the rock. I need to move it. It's hurting both of us. He's not the right person for this position, and there's no amount of pushing or getting on him that's going to change that. He needs to be reassigned to a position where he can make a contribution." This doesn't mean that we stop helping people set goals or that we stop expecting people to grow and change. It means that we stop respecting and evaluating people based on what we think they should accomplish, and start respecting them for who they are and holding them accountable for what they're actually doing. It means that we stop loving people for who they could be and start loving them for who they are."