"An entirely truthful rendering of the events would employ words such as "wheedle," "plead," and "attempted bribe." "Does publications know you're here? If you're not cleared through the publications office, you'll have to leave." She strides into her office and dials the phone, staring at me while she talks, like security guards in bad action movies just before Steven Seagal clubs them on the head from behind. One of the seminar organizers joins me. "Is Yvonne giving you a hard time?" Yvonne! My nemesis is none other than the cadaver beheader."