I see that you think more than you can express. But, if that's the case, you must also know that you have never fully lived out your thoughts, and that isn't good. Only the thoughts that we live out have any value. You knew that your 'permissible world' was only half the world, and you tried to hide away the second half from yourself, the way clergymen and teachers do. You won't succeed! No one can do that when he has once begun to think.