But that so rarely works. And if our hearts and brains don't acknowledge these kinds of truths, they don't just go away. They burrow into our bodies. For me, any truth I try to push aside seems to seek asylum in my lumbar curve. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away; it just makes it a refugee. And the refugee camp that establishes itself in my low back grows and gets more and more painful over time. There is a cost to trying to deny pain, to trying to deny ourselves the process of grieving. Eventually our bodies must process it, and there will be, in the end, an emotional balloon payment that comes due.