This determination to manage--to cope--to do as much unassisted as possible--is the Widow's prerogative. You might argue that it's a sign of her wish to appear to be--which is not the same as being--self-sufficient; or you might argue that it is a symptom of her derangement. But then, in the early minutes/hours/days of Widowhood--what is not, if examined closely, a symptom of derangement?