I'm not a disciplinarian. I understand the need for discipline, of course, but I'm just not good at it. I'm not talking about hitting--I don't think any parent should ever hit a child--but about setting the rules and sticking by them. How to punish without taking away love--that's the great art. I wished that I could do it, but I was trapped by the most ironic dichotomy: I was afraid that if I set rules and drew lines and enforced discipline, Katie would take her love away from me.