"As friends or family members and caregivers, we can help a great deal by listening and empathizing with women who are in the thick of it. We can bring them small gifts...and make sure they are invited to get-togethers even if it is unlikely they will make it. When women are homebound caretakers, a daily phone call can be a lifesaver. We can acknowledge both the efforts other women are making and validate the importance of those efforts. ...She cannot help feeling used and bitter. Ardith told me, "I received awards for my art, but nothing for Mom Duty." "I'm buying you a trophy and a dozen roses." I said. Ardith laughed and said, "Just buy me the roses. Yellow please." I brought the roses but, at the same time, I know that Ardith's and all other caregiver' primary validation must be internal. When we do something arduous such as deal with an insurance company all day, we must give ourselves credit for our skill and persistence. At the end of a difficult afternoon, we need to remind ourselves that we perform honorable labor and that there will be better days."