"Brit, this is Perry Landis," Doug says, pointing to the Colin look-alike. "The artist." "Omigod, your work is amazing!" Brittany says, gushing at him. She said "omigod" as if she really is an airhead. Is she kidding me? The guy looks over her shoulder at his painting. "What do you think of this one?" he asks her. Brittany clears her throat. "I think it shows great insight to the relationship between man, animal, and Earth." Oh, please. What bullshit. Perry puts his arm around her and I'm tempted to pick a fight in the middle of the gallery. "I can tell you're very deep." Deep, my ass. He wants to get into her pants...pants he's never going near if I have anything to say about it. "Alex, what do you think?" Brittany asks, turning to me. "Well..." I rub my chin as I stare at the painting. "I think the entire collection is worth a buck fifty, two tops." Sierra's eyes go wide and her hand covers her mouth in shock. Doug is coughing up his drink. And Brittany? I look at my "let's see what happens" girlfriend. "Alex, you owe Perry an apology," Brittany says. Yeah, right after he apologizes for asking me about wasabi. Not a chance in hell. "I'm outta here," I say, then turn my back on all of them and walk out the gallery door. "