"He had been born Thomas Pain, though upon arrival in America he whimsically changed the spelling to Paine, and he was about as unlikely a figure to change the course of history as you could imagine. A tumbledown drunk, coarse of manner, blotchy-faced and almost wholly lacking in acquaintance with the virtues of soap and water--"so neglectful in his person that he is generally the most abominably dirty being upon the face of the earth," in the words of one contemporary--he had been a failure at every trade he had ever attempted, and he had attempted many, from corset making to tax collecting, before finally, at the age of thirty-eight, abandoning his native shores and his second wife and coming to America."