The underlying message of her efforts was that I could not trust my own instincts because to do so might lead to a fate far worse than the punishment I had received. It also communicated to me that my behavior could, and often did, cause problems for other people. Believing, or being taught to believe, that what you do is wrong is one thing. Learning, or being told, that who you are is wrong opens up a much deeper wound that has a direct impact on your ability to trust yourself. In