I'll say one thing for the Weedgies: they don't go in for half measures. 'Ah'll be deid soon, big man,' he cheerfully informs me over a lunch if almost inedible cheese salad for me, and pie, chips and beans for everyone else. (Skreel is, at six foot, an inch taller than me.) 'Ah jist wahnt tae stay aff ma face till it happens, know whit ah mean?