I contemplated how I was going to get through the rest of the day and felt the onset of a terror I thought I had outgrown. I hated it when these started to form. One unwelcome subject sought out its counterparts--farewells, people leaving and never coming back, ambulances.... And then counterparts attracted similar old hurts and horrors until you were trapped in the nucleus of the cluster. This cluster, I knew, was labeled LOSS in big black letters. I knew this much, thanks to therapy and training, but simply it didn't protect you from reacting to it over and over again. Until one day you resolved to sit down in the middle of the nucleus, fold your arms, and invite the cluster to do its worst. And if you survived that, you could look around and see what was left in its absence.