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I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin.
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Jarod Kintz |
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Sometimes I wish Jim Morrison were still alive, because I'd love to see a concert in which "The Doors" opened up for "The Cars."
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Jarod Kintz |
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I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde's best.
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Jarod Kintz |
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When I hear your name, I involuntarily clench my butt cheeks. Is that love? I don't know--I'm not Nicholas Sparks.
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Jarod Kintz |
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I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming.
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Jarod Kintz |
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I have a rating system I apply to all people. Mao Zedong might have a Meow Factor of four, but I like to keep my Meow Factor as close to zero as I can. This system is not to be confused with my HV methodology, where I assign myself a Hooray Value of five.
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Jarod Kintz |
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Four bricks could be affixed under a skateboard and used as really inefficient wheels. Ha! Let's see Tony Hawk do tricks on that board. Actually, he probably could.
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Jarod Kintz |
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I had a dream about you where you were an economic hero. So is the real life you like the dream you? Answer this question: If Paul Krugman and Ben Bernanke were about to die, and they only had 59 seconds left, and you could only save one, would you take a minute to think it over?
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Jarod Kintz |
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If we're friends, I'm only the funniest guy you know because you don't know John Cleese. Or Steve Martin. Or Jack Handey. Or, or, or, I could go on for Orafoura.
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Jarod Kintz |
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A brick could be a columnist for the New York Times, and could even win a Nobel Prize. And why not? Is that any more absurd than both those things happening for Paul Krugman?
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Jarod Kintz |