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When we learn how to be in an intimate relationship without abandoning our sense of self, when we learn how to be kind without being self-sacrificing, when we learn how to cooperate with others without betraying our standards and convictions, we are practicing self-assertiveness.
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Nathaniel Branden |
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Never marry a person who is not a friend of your excitement.
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marriage
passion
love
marriage-advice
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Nathaniel Branden |
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If my aim is to prove I am "enough," the project goes on to infinity--because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable."
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Nathaniel Branden |
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In addition, if a person makes the error of identifying self with his work (rather than with the internal virtues that make the work possible), if self-esteem is tied primarily to accomplishments, success, income, or being a good family provider, the danger is that economic circumstances beyond the individual's control may lead to the failure of the business or the loss of a job, flinging him into depression or acute demoralization.
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Nathaniel Branden |
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Regardless of what we think we're teaching, we teach what we are.
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Nathaniel Branden |
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When we have unconflicted self-esteem, joy is our motor, not fear. It is happiness that we wish to experience, not suffering that we wish to avoid. Our purpose is self-expression, not self-avoidance or self-justification. Our motive is not to "prove" our worth but to live our possibilities."
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Nathaniel Branden |
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What is required for many of us, paradoxical though it may sound, is the courage to tolerate happiness without self-sabotage.
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self-sabotage
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Nathaniel Branden |
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The willingness to experience and accept our feelings carries no implication that emotions are to have the last word on what we do. I may not be in the mood to work today; I can acknowledge my feelings, experience them, accept them--and then go to work. I will work with a clearer mind because I have not begun the day with self-deception.
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Nathaniel Branden |
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To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals--to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may be--and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know.
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Nathaniel Branden |
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But if I lack respect for and enjoyment of who I am, I have very little to give--except my unfilled needs. In my emotional impoverishment, I tend to see other people essentially as sources of approval or disapproval. I do not appreciate them for who they are in their own right. I see only what they can or cannot do for me. I am not looking for people whom I can admire and with whom I can share the excitement and adventure of life. I am look..
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Nathaniel Branden |
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Do you want to be like Goethe or any of those so-called geniuses who marry a nothing hausfrau?
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Nathaniel Branden |
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The thing I want you to understand," Ayn was saying, "is that no matter how hard the battle, it can be won. You can break through."
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Nathaniel Branden |