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The future is now. It's time to grow up and be strong. Tomorrow may well be too late.
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Neil LaBute |
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You're crossing the ocean on a wooden ship. One of the boards rots, so you replace it with another that you've stored on your hold. It is still the same ship? Most people will agree that it is. But what if, bit by bit, as you make your journey, your ships sustains more and more damage, so that by the time you reach your destination, you have substituted each piece with its counterpart and not a single piece remains unreplaced. Now is it the..
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Neil LaBute |
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Maybe that's what Hell is, in the end. All of your wrongful shit played out there in front of you while you're being pumped from behind by someone you've hurt. That you've screwed over in life. Or worse, worse still...some person who doesn't really love you anymore. No one to ever look at again, make contact with. Just you being fucked as your life splashes out across this big headboard in the Devil's bedroom. Maybe. Even if that's not it, ..
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Neil LaBute |
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I'm saying the American way is to overcome, to conquer, to come out on top. And we do it by spending and eating and screwing our women harder than anyone else. That's all I'm saying.
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united-states
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Neil LaBute |
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Are you in here for an actual reason? CARTER Pretty much. I don't remember what it is, but I'm sure I had one when I started down the hall ... TOM Perfect. CARTER Oh, yeah, now I recall . Because I was bored in my office ... (Beat.) Plus, you have nicer windows.
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Neil LaBute |
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I thought maybe you were different, but you ended up being the same kind of lame guy that I perpetually date, and it just freaks me out a little. That maybe you're the only type out there. These baby boys who run around in nice clothes, but all they really wanna do is breast-feed for the rest of their days ...
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Neil LaBute |
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you thank your heavenly father for giving you strength to stand up to his trials and figure there must be a plan behind it all, a reason for so much pain and you just...go on.
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Neil LaBute |
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TOM ... Go on, jump in there. (Prompts her.) Be brave. HELEN You're absolutely sure it's dead, right? Because if it's just holding its breath, then I'm ... LaBute, Neil (2004-11-29). Fat Pig: A Play (p. 27). Faber & Faber. Kindle Edition.
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Neil LaBute |
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things get worked through...or work themselves through, we probably don't have all that much to do with it. we like to think we do, though, right?
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Neil LaBute |
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see, we been doing things wrong for so long now that it all starts to feel okay after a while, you know, like this is how it oughta be.
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Neil LaBute |
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HELEN You, too, Tom. You're a good man. (Kisses him back.) Good and strong and brave and ... ummmm ... lots of nice things ... TOM ... mmmmmm. I love it when you talk dirty.
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Neil LaBute |
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but sometimes you can go along, years even, and not feel like you're growing up at all, and then there's times when you age a ton, like, in a couple 'a seconds, you know?
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Neil LaBute |
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MAN No doubt about that--I can't even call 'em "girls" without getting hit by a lawsuit, so ... (Grins.) You're a librarian? WOMAN Yeah. Well, we don't really use that term anymore, but, ahh ... MAN Sure, of course! It's probably, like, "printed-word specialist" or something now, I suppose ... WOMAN Exactly."
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Neil LaBute |
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JEANNIE It's not like she's ... She's really fat, Tom! A fat sow and you know it. I can tell you're aware by the way you're acting, which is really the puzzling part ... TOM I-like-her. End of story.
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Neil LaBute |
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WOMAN Really? Handsome guy like you and that's all you're good for ... to look at? MAN Pretty much. WOMAN Good to know. (Opens a pudding.) You want one? MAN Nah, I shouldn't ... WOMAN Why? MAN Excellent question. Okay.
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Neil LaBute |
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CARTER It's whatever. Truth. People are not comfortable with difference. You know? Fags, retards, cripples. Fat people. Old folks, even. They scare us or something.
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Neil LaBute |
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CARTER Come on, be honest! The thing they represent that's so scary is what we could be, how vulnerable we all are. I mean, any of us. Some wrong gene splice, a bad backflip off the trampoline ... too many cartons of Oreos! We're all just one step away from being what frightens us. What we despise. So ... we despise it when we see it in anybody else.
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Neil LaBute |
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TOM Come on! Seriously ... HELEN Okay, okay ... I'm ... (Beat.) You have my hand there, you know. TOM Yeah, I ... is that not ...? HELEN It's fine. Just wanted to ask and see if it was an accident or not. TOM Umm ... no. It wasn't, no. But ... now you're making me self-conscious.
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Neil LaBute |
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this was a thing you keep up on in high school, girls you secretly like but can't get at 'cause they're dating somebody, maybe a friend, and so you file 'em away and hope the guy joins the army and gets sent to laos or something...
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Neil LaBute |
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Look, you're not French, let's face it . . . and who wants to be, anyway, in this day and age? Being French is way past cool.
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Neil LaBute |
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WRITER Actors come and go, pal--you guys are the furniture, okay? What I write is the house. Let's not get all precious about it . . .
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Neil LaBute |
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WRITER So, go on then, get all smart about it--can you deny what I'm saying? Huh? Jesus was not some . . . Indonesian guy! He just wasn't. ACTOR I'm not Indonesian! Jesus Christ!
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Neil LaBute |
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What's the South African thing that I always mix up with "apathy"? (Thinks.) "Apartheid!" That wasn't me, so just get down off your high horse, okay?"
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Neil LaBute |
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WRITER Right, but no offense, you guys eat dogs for lunch and many of us in the West here find that disgusting, so . . . ACTOR I'm not Korean, you prick! I'm of Chinese descent but I was born in Idaho! I-da-ho. You got that? / My God . . .
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Neil LaBute |
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MAN 3 . . . fuck, I'm glad I'm a guy! You know? MAN 5 Yeah, why's that? Pause. MAN 3 . . . because then I don't have to date 'em.
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Neil LaBute |
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TOM Old people, though? Come on. We're all gonna age. It's ... CARTER Not me. I hope I'm a goner before then. The elderly make me sick ...
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Neil LaBute |
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Listen, I speak from experience when I say . . . just because some man doesn't have one does not necessarily mean that he can't be one.
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Neil LaBute |
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What the fuck do I mean? I mean . . . (Beat.) Well, I, shit, I dunno! But you see what I'm getting at, don't you?
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Neil LaBute |
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WAITRESS 1 Actually, the last thing I want is to be alone, but . . . the other last thing is to be with someone.
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Neil LaBute |
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I mean, I'm as fucked up and miserable as the next person, but I don't let it get me down. You know?
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Neil LaBute |
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WAITRESS 2 Then, the topper . . . an elbow to the ribs . . . "Hey, you make it?" Really sensitive, like we've got a fucking recipe for an orgasm!"
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Neil LaBute |
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WAITRESS 1 What do I hope for in a guy? Everything . . . Pause. WAITRESS 1 What do I expect? Not much . . . Pause. WAITRESS 1 What'll I take? Usually . . . anything . . .
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Neil LaBute |
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I get a bunch of productions in, like, Germany and Poland . . . It doesn't matter, places.
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Neil LaBute |