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Praising and encouraging are very close to pushing, and when you do that you are trying again to take control of his life. Think about why you are lauding something he's done. Is it to help raise his self-esteem? That's manipulation. Is it so he will continue whatever behavior you're praising? That's manipulation. Is it so that he'll know how proud you are of him? That can be a burden for him to carry. Let him develop his own pride from his..
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Robin Norwood |
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Taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness gives a great freedom to children who have felt guilty and responsible for your unhappiness (which they always do). A child can never hope to balance the scales or repay the debt when a parent has sacrificed her life, her happiness, her fulfilment for the child or the family. Seeing a parent fully embrace life gives a child the permission to do the same, just as seeing a parent suffer in..
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Robin Norwood |
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It requires a hard look at what is, rather than what you hope will be. As you let go of managing and controlling, you must also let go of the idea that "when he changes I'll be happy." He may never change. You must stop trying to make him. And you must learn to be happy anyway."
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Robin Norwood |
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Self-will means believing that you alone have all the answers. Letting go of self-will means becoming willing to hold still, be open, and wait for guidance for yourself. It means learning to let go of fear (all of the "what ifs") and despair (all of the "if onlys") and replacing them with positive thoughts and statements about your life."
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Robin Norwood |
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The Greeks were smarter. They used different words, eros and agape, to distinguish between these two profoundly different ways of experiencing what we call "love." Eros, of course, refers to passionate love, while agape describes the stable and committed relationship, free of passion, that exists between two individuals who care deeply for each other. The contrast of eros and agape allows us to understand our dilemma when we look for both t..
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Robin Norwood |
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Most of us have the ability to be far happier and more fulfilled as individuals than we realize. Often, we don't claim that happiness because we believe someone else's behavior is preventing us from doing so. We ignore our obligation to develop ourselves while we scheme and maneuver and manipulate to change someone else, and we become angry and discouraged and depressed when our efforts fail. Trying to change someone else is frustrating and..
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Robin Norwood |
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Una familia disfuncional es aquella en que los miembros juegan papeles rigidos y en la cual la comunicacion esta severamente restringida a las declaraciones que se adecuan a estos roles. Los miembros no tienen libertad para expresar todo un espectro de experiencias, deseos, necesidades y sentimientos, sino que deben limitarse a jugar el papel que se adapte al de los demas miembros de la familia. En las familias disfuncionales, los aspectos ..
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rol
realidad
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Robin Norwood |
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686e3d5
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The key is in learning how to live a healthy, satisfying, and serene life without being dependent on another person for happiness.
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Robin Norwood |
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293a445
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There is an old joke about a nearsighted man who has lost his keys late at night and is looking for them by the light of a street lamp. Another person comes along and offers to help him look but asks him, "Are you sure this is where you lost them?" He answers, "No, but this is where the light is."
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Robin Norwood |
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71827d2
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Eros: Real love is an all-consuming, desperate yearning for the beloved, who is perceived as different, mysterious, and elusive. The depth of love is measured by the intensity of obsession with the loved one. There is little time or attention for other interests or pursuits, because so much energy is focused on recalling past encounters or imagining future ones. Often, great obstacles must be overcome, and thus there is an element of suffer..
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Robin Norwood |
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f314586
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Hungry people make poor shoppers.
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Robin Norwood |
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indiferencia
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Robin Norwood |
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041a9a8
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If you have an active faith, and you regularly worship and frequently pray, developing your spirituality may mean trusting that what is happening in your life has its own reason and its own results, and that God is in charge of your partner, not you. Take quiet time to meditate and pray, and to ask for guidance in how to live your own life while you release those around you to live theirs.
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Robin Norwood |
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d0785ec
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Developing your spirituality, no matter what your religious orientation, basically means letting go of self-will, of the determination to make things happen the way you think they should. Instead, you must accept the fact that you may not know what is best in a given situation either for yourself or for another person. There may be outcomes and solutions that you have never considered, or perhaps the ones you've most feared and tried hardes..
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Robin Norwood |
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it is this very practice of acceptance that allows another to change if he chooses to do so.
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Robin Norwood |
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After all, he had secrets to keep about his sexual identity and behavior, and having a wife made him look more 'normal' than not having one. I guess that was what he meant when he said he needed me.
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Robin Norwood |
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1f88835
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Cuando sucede algo emocionalmente doloroso y nos decimos que la culpa es nuestra, en realidad estamos diciendo que tenemos control sobre ello: si nosotros cambiamos, el dolor desaparecera.
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culpa
dolor
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Robin Norwood |
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a4fa2a1
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True acceptance of an individual as he is, without trying to change him through encouragement or manipulation or coercion, is a very high form of love, and very difficult for most of us to practice.
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Robin Norwood |