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995745d
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
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Garrison Keillor |
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d220fcc
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Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
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Garrison Keillor |
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a314270
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
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Garrison Keillor |
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f29f822
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Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth breather there is.
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Garrison Keillor |
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aab88a7
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
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Garrison Keillor |
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4fc5f93
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Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.
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Garrison Keillor |
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1abbe3c
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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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Garrison Keillor |
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a73dabc
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Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
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luck
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Garrison Keillor |
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da2a8e1
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Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.
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Garrison Keillor |
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be17973
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Garrison Keillor |
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d7032d9
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And then I stand in front of God's Throne squinting up at His blazing glory and He says, 'You had your opportunities, boy. But did you listen? No. You went on heedlesly reading that garbagey magazine with pictures of naked girls in it. How juvenile! I gave geese more sense than that.' Please, God. I'm only fourteen years old. A teenager. Have mercy. Be loving.
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jesus
religion
god
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Garrison Keillor |
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e1dc14d
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Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
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Garrison Keillor |
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0ac0119
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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.
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Garrison Keillor |
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11311a7
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Know the quiet place within your heart and touch the rainbow of possibility; be alive to the gentle breeze of communication, and please stop being such a jerk.
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Garrison Keillor |
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856690c
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If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
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Garrison Keillor |
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9a627dd
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A person cannot coast along in old destructive habits year after year and accept whatever comes along. A person must stand up on her own two legs and walk. Get off the bus and go get on another. Climb out of the ditch and cross the road. Find the road that s where you want to go. ... The only sermon that counts is the one that is formed by our actions. She would quit drinking and thereby show Kyle life is what you make it. A person can grab..
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Garrison Keillor |
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a39b8b6
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Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.
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Garrison Keillor |
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0dc1796
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Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
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Garrison Keillor |
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0b3ebf5
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IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.
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Garrison Keillor |
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e425dbf
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He was admired for never being at a loss for words and never wasting any either.
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garrison keillor |
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eae868e
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I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
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Garrison Keillor |
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e744095
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When NASA started sending up astronauts, they discovered that ballpoint pens don't work in zero gravity. So they spent twelve million dollars and more than a decade developing a pen that writes under any condition, on almost every surface. The Russians used a pencil.
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Garrison Keillor |
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86723ef
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I used to think that kid might become a preacher. Now I don't see how he's going to stay out of prison. Nobody in this family ever went to prison for sex crimes. He'd be the first." Yes," says Jesus, "you never know about these things."
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religion
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Garrison Keillor |
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cd27ed9
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You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
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garrison keillor |
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e40e91f
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Computers can never completely replace humans. They may become capable of artificial intelligence, but they will never master real stupidity.
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Garrison Keillor |
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9d2d89a
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I can see how I could write a bold account of myself as a passionate man who rose from humble beginnings to cut a wide swath in the world, whose crimes along the way might be written off to extravagance and love and art, and could even almost believe some of it myself on certain days after the sun went down if I'd had a snort or two and was in Los Angeles and it was February and I was twenty-four, but I find a truer account in the Herald-St..
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truth
storytelling
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Garrison Keillor |
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3cf3f28
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Never say anything bad about a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. By then he's a mile away, you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever you want to.
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Garrison Keillor |
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90843a9
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The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.
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rich
poor
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Garrison Keillor |
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ea610d9
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Free enterprise runs on self interest. This is socialism and it runs on loyalty . . . if people were going to live by comparison shopping, the town would go bust . . . If you live there you have to take it as a whole. That's loyalty.
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garrison keillor |
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78d89c7
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If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.
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Garrison Keillor |
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b981078
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What would people think?' Jesus said that people think all sorts of things. The human mind is like a cloud of gnats. Constant motion. That's why you have to look at the heart. 'Oh,' said Grandpa.
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jesus
inspiration
humor
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Garrison Keillor |
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14b15c7
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I longed for the pitter-patter of little feet, so I got a dog. It's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Garrison Keillor |
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b7eb3d2
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Three people were going to the guillotine. The first was a lawyer, who was led to the platform, blindfolded, and had his head put on the block. The executioner pulled the lanyard, but nothing happened. To avoid a messy lawsuit, the authorities allowed the lawyer to go free. The next man to the guillotine was a priest. They put his head on the block and pulled the lanyard, but nothing happened. The blade didn't come down. They thought it mus..
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Garrison Keillor |
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e0ce24f
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My God, rich people have the time to praise You if they want to, but the poor people are so busy, accept their work as praise because, my God, they don't have time for everything.
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poor
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Garrison Keillor |
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abb2e26
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Did you know that half of all people are below average?
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Garrison Keillor |
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f7796d4
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I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
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Garrison Keillor |
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eda861e
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you are never so smart again in a language learned in middle age nor so romantic, brave or kind.
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Garrison Keillor |
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03b1582
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Don't worry about the past and don't try to figure out the future
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thoughts
past
positive
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Garrison Keillor |
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5b902c0
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What liberals must conserve is the middle class: the stable family who can afford to enjoy music and theater and take the kids to Europe someday and put money in the collection plate and save for college and keep up the home and be secure against catastrophe. This family has taken big hits in payroll taxes and loss of buying power and a certain suppressed panic about job security.
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Garrison Keillor |
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4630297
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The living wander away, we don't hear from them for months, years--but the dead move in with us to stay.
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Garrison Keillor |
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719991f
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Sometimes I think I understand everything--then I regain consciousness.
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Garrison Keillor |
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82eb461
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By God, no matter what Republicans say, the people of this country really do care about each other. We are not a cold people. By God, when John F. Kennedy said, "Ask what you can do for your country," he spoke to this country's heart and conscience." --
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Garrison Keillor |
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04d044f
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James Brown went to the pearly gates and met St. Peter who took him to a room where Jerry Garcia was playing and Jimi Hendricks and Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin. James Brown says, "I was worried maybe I was going to hell, but I guess not." Jerry Garcia says "You think this is heaven?" Just then Lawrence Welk walked in and says "All right, one more time. 'The Anniversary Waltz.' And a one and a two and a one, two, three..."
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Garrison Keillor |
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eb4b02b
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The drag queen walks into a Catholic church as the priest is coming down the aisle swinging the incense pot. And he says to the priest, "Oh, honey, I love your dress, but did you know your handbag's on fire?"
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Garrison Keillor |