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When shame is met with compassion and not received as confirmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see that if we can let it go, we will see ourselves as clean where we once thought we were dirty. We will remember our innocence. We will see how our shame supported a system in which the perpetrators were protected and we bore the brunt of their offense -- first in its actuality, then again in carrying their shame for it. If the method we chose to try to beat out shame was perfectionism, we can relax now, shake the burden off our shoulders, and give ourselves a chance to loosen up and make some errors. Hallelujah! Our freedom will not come from tireless effort and getting it all exactly right.
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freedom
abusers
perpetrators
abuser
burdens-of-the-past
imperfect
peptrator
perfectly-imperfect
false-guilt
recovery-from-abuse
healing-from-abuse
innocence-lost
offense
child-rape
healing-insights
perfectionism
healing
innocence
shame
recovery
guilt
child-sexual-abuse
incest
sexual-abuse
survivors
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Maureen Brady |