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Regardless of the trends we see in the deterioration of morality, respect, and values, wise people will still strive to take the high road to rise above the ever-increasing rudeness and stand apart from the crowd.
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Susan C. Young |
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"I remember hearing years ago about a centenarian being interviewed on her birthday. She was asked, "Throughout your life, you have witnessed amazing change and innovation. The past one-hundred years have brought the inventions of the car, television, air conditioning, and microwave ovens. What is the most extraordinary change you have seen in your lifetime?" Without missing a beat, she replied, "That a teenager can say "suck" in front of their parents and get away with it!" While cultural norms may have changed with the times, being considerate of fellow human beings is not an antiquated notion; its time hasn't ended. Quite the opposite is true. In our world today, kindness and politeness are needed more than ever."
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Susan C. Young |
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The elegance of etiquette is a timeless expression of class which transcends social status, demographics, educational level, and ethnicity. Good manners say more about you than the person who is on the receiving end.
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As our society has become more casual, the line between a person's personal life and professional life has become blurred, especially with the advent of social media. Personal information, your manners (or lack thereof), opinions, and pictures of your private life are available for all the world to see. HR directors, recruiters, and potential employers will often ascertain a person's manners and moral compass from their online presence.
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Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person: 1. Say please when you are making a request or asking for help. 2. Say thank you when a person has said or done something kind or at your request. 3. Ask permission before borrowing something that's not yours. 4. Hold doors open for the next person coming through. 5. Offer a helping hand before being asked. 6. Let the people exiting an elevator step out before you step in. 7. Be kind to people who are in service positions. 8. Keep your negative opinions close to your vest and out of earshot where your words might hurt or offend.
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"Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person: 1. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. 2. Reciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind. 3. Say "excuse me" when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone's space, or need to get someone's attention. 4. Apologize when you've made a mistake or are in the wrong. 5. Live by the "Golden Rule" and treat others the way you would like to be treated. 6. When dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal. 7. Acknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries. 8. Reply to invitations, regardless of whether you will be able to attend. 9. Acknowledge and show gratitude for gifts and gestures of hospitality. 10. Put things back where they belong. Leave the world a better place than how you found it."
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All manners are not created equal and can conjure different interpretations based on the environment in which they are being displayed.
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What is appropriate in one setting may be entirely inappropriate in another. How you behave at a football game is different than how you behave at your sister's wedding. How you interact with your closest friends will be different than how you engage with your boss.
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"For more than forty years, Judith Martin has inspired the world with advice on etiquette excellence, proper behavior, and codes of conduct through her critically acclaimed newspaper column, "Miss Manners." In an interview for her book, Miss Manners Minds Your Business, Mrs. Martin reminds us that "When you go to work, you want a degree of professionalism which does not involve hearing about all of the sordid details of a person's love life. We are not necessarily all friends, but have a job that needs to be done. A work friend is not always a social friend. One requires distance while the other embraces intimacy."
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Impeccable manners and courteous behavior are the hallmarks for healthy relations and human interaction.
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"Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person: 1. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. 2. Reciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind. 3. Say "excuse me" when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone's space, or need to get someone's attention. 4. Apologize when you've made a mistake or are in the wrong. 5. Live by the "Golden Rule" and treat others the way you would like to be treated. 6. When dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal. 7. Acknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries."
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ASK YOURSELF: Are you presenting yourself in the best of all lights, online and off, and demonstrating the dignity of good manners? Make sure of it! If not, it may come back to haunt you.
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Without civilized social graces, not only is life more difficult, but a positive first impression can be destroyed as fast as it is made.
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While good old-fashioned manners and etiquette have worked for centuries, new standards and expectations have come into play with the modern world. Behaviors which would have been appalling in the past are now socially acceptable.
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How a person treats wait staff speaks volumes about their character and values. If they misbehave in this scenario, you can likely predict how they will react when cut off in traffic, when their luggage is lost, or when life doesn't go their way. It is also an indicator to CEOs and hiring managers as to whether a person is a viable candidate for being a considerate team player.
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It is unimpressive to not hold a door open for the next person coming through. After a satisfying workout at my gym, I was walking behind a man who was exiting at the same time. He was only about two feet in front of me. As he walked through the door, he let it close behind him, almost hitting me in the face. Was he being intentionally rude? Was he preoccupied and focused on other things? No matter whether an offender is being a jerk intentionally, or is simply oblivious to how his behavior is affecting others, rude behavior instantly makes a negative impression. Be aware!
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Susan C. Young |
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It is unimpressive to speaking rudely to others. Often, all we need to do to ensure that we do not launch into a rude remark is to pause . . . breathe . . . and smile to ourselves before speaking. And when people are rude to you, just remember that they are revealing who they are, not who you are. Don't take it personally. Sometimes being silent is your best response.
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I am a very lucky lady that my life partner, Daniel, is a true-blue Southern gentleman. Watching him in action not only earns my love and respect, but it also strengthens his countenance and bolsters his reputation as a man. As a health care provider, he treats numerous patients who are elderly or in pain. Daniel has made it a customary ritual while people are in his care to help them with their coats, provide a stabilizing arm, carry the ladies' purses, and even walk patients out to their cars. While this kindness provides extraordinary customer service, it also demonstrates that small acts of chivalry can make a significant impact on one's reputation, first impression, and overall human-beingness.
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Polite people tend to be more respected, admired, and appreciated than their rude counterparts.
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And as is often the case, the people who would benefit the most from reading a book like this are the ones least likely to buy and read it. For you, however, this chapter will serve as a sterling reminder to make your manners shine.
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Susan C. Young |
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You already know the difference between being a gracious person versus a rude one.
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Your manners are critical for both making a positive first impression and creating success in life, love, and business.
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It is unimpressive to not return what's been borrowed. Whether you have borrowed money, folding chairs, yard tools, or a popular book, always make sure you return to another person what is rightfully theirs. Lending it to you in the first place was a gift of trust and assistance. Being slow to give back in return may be considered rude.
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"It is unimpressive to interrupt another person while they are talking. Interrupting someone in mid-sentence demonstrates that your focus is on yourself, not the person talking. I had a friend who used a humorous retort whenever someone would interrupt him. He would graciously, albeit sarcastically, say, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to speak while you were interrupting." It always got a laugh, yet he was cleverly letting the intruder know of his infraction without being too confrontational."
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