healing-insights

Link	Quote	Tags	Author
65bb31f	Then again, he supposed the healing process, in contrast to trauma, was gentle and slow... The soft closing of a door, rather than a slam.- John	healing-insights healing-journey healing-process healing-trauma healing-the-past traumatized	J.R. Ward
048f24e	Because we were treated neglectfully and abusively in our young years--when we most needed self-love to be mirrored--it was difficult to hold onto...We take up the challenge of learning to love ourselves, through our highs & our lows, when we are finding acceptance from others and when we are being closed out and rejected.	love-yourself child-abuse-survivors child-neglect emotional-neglect self-love-quotes recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse child-abuse healing-insights self-acceptance healing self-love emotional-abuse neglect	Maureen Brady
ead270a	"Our need to be "greater than" or "less than" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser."	ashamed coverup defective defective-humans false-self feeling-bad hidden-feelings hidden-pain hidden-self overachiever power-trip toxic-shame child-sexual-abuse-survivor recovery-from-abuse dunce loser healing-insights survivor puritan healing true-self shame child-sexual-abuse incest	Maureen Brady
ae23b74	When shame is met with compassion and not received as confirmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see that if we can let it go, we will see ourselves as clean where we once thought we were dirty. We will remember our innocence. We will see how our shame supported a system in which the perpetrators were protected and we bore the brunt of their offense -- first in its actuality, then again in carrying their shame for it. If the method we chose to try to beat out shame was perfectionism, we can relax now, shake the burden off our shoulders, and give ourselves a chance to loosen up and make some errors. Hallelujah! Our freedom will not come from tireless effort and getting it all exactly right.	freedom abusers perpetrators abuser burdens-of-the-past imperfect peptrator perfectly-imperfect false-guilt recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse innocence-lost offense child-rape healing-insights perfectionism healing innocence shame recovery guilt child-sexual-abuse incest sexual-abuse survivors	Maureen Brady
7240f03	When we first begin to take power more directly, after long having kept our relationship to it underground...it is natural that we experience anxiety, even guilt, at putting ourselves first. These feeling let us know we are taking action; they do not need to stop us.	assertiveness child-sexual-abuse-survivor false-guilt empowering healing-insights healing anxiety power guilt survivors	Maureen Brady
9563645	The bridge out of shame is outrage. Suddenly the obvious becomes stunningly clear--we have been carrying shame for the crime of the offender...In a clear flash we may see ourselves standing in a fierce stance, grounded by our knowledge, ready to throw off any wrongdoer. Our outrage can be a fueling energy, capable of making us as steely as we need to be.	rape rage recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse outrage child-rape healing-insights healing shame crime recovery child-sexual-abuse incest	Maureen Brady
491c703	We can ill afford to wait until we have worked through all our memories & feelings about incest before learning to rest & play. While it may seem to be a natural impulse to get to the bottom of things & purge ourselves fully, we need to regularly examine the full picture of our lives for balance along the way...Learning to rest & play is an essential part of our healing.	child-sexual-abuse-survivors recovery-from-abuse healing-insights healing-abuse healing-the-emotional-self healing incest survivors	Maureen Brady
5ff9694	Though our childhood abuse left us feeling someone ought to make reparation to us, if we wait a lifetime for that, we may never receive what we need. We choose instead to face the idea that from now on, we are going to take responsibility for caring for ourselves.	ask-for-forgiveness no-apologies reparation recovery-from-abuse healing-insights healing survivors	Maureen Brady
d7bba5c	It is a childish notion that once established, our boundaries will never be transgressed again...We shall have to stand for ourselves repeatedly for the rest of our lives. As we practice doing this, we come to greater ease...Eventually it may float over entirely into the positive realm--becoming only another chance to demonstrated our worthiness.	boundaries-quotes boundary-violations recovery-from-abuse boundaries healing-insights healing-abuse healing survivors	Maureen Brady

65bb31f

Then again, he supposed the healing process, in contrast to trauma, was gentle and slow... The soft closing of a door, rather than a slam.- John

healing-insights healing-journey healing-process healing-trauma healing-the-past traumatized

J.R. Ward

048f24e

Because we were treated neglectfully and abusively in our young years--when we most needed self-love to be mirrored--it was difficult to hold onto...We take up the challenge of learning to love ourselves, through our highs & our lows, when we are finding acceptance from others and when we are being closed out and rejected.

love-yourself child-abuse-survivors child-neglect emotional-neglect self-love-quotes recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse child-abuse healing-insights self-acceptance healing self-love emotional-abuse neglect

Maureen Brady

ead270a

"Our need to be "greater than" or "less than" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser."

ashamed coverup defective defective-humans false-self feeling-bad hidden-feelings hidden-pain hidden-self overachiever power-trip toxic-shame child-sexual-abuse-survivor recovery-from-abuse dunce loser healing-insights survivor puritan healing true-self shame child-sexual-abuse incest

Maureen Brady

ae23b74

When shame is met with compassion and not received as confirmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see that if we can let it go, we will see ourselves as clean where we once thought we were dirty. We will remember our innocence. We will see how our shame supported a system in which the perpetrators were protected and we bore the brunt of their offense -- first in its actuality, then again in carrying their shame for it. If the method we chose to try to beat out shame was perfectionism, we can relax now, shake the burden off our shoulders, and give ourselves a chance to loosen up and make some errors. Hallelujah! Our freedom will not come from tireless effort and getting it all exactly right.

freedom abusers perpetrators abuser burdens-of-the-past imperfect peptrator perfectly-imperfect false-guilt recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse innocence-lost offense child-rape healing-insights perfectionism healing innocence shame recovery guilt child-sexual-abuse incest sexual-abuse survivors

Maureen Brady

7240f03

When we first begin to take power more directly, after long having kept our relationship to it underground...it is natural that we experience anxiety, even guilt, at putting ourselves first. These feeling let us know we are taking action; they do not need to stop us.

assertiveness child-sexual-abuse-survivor false-guilt empowering healing-insights healing anxiety power guilt survivors

Maureen Brady

9563645

The bridge out of shame is outrage. Suddenly the obvious becomes stunningly clear--we have been carrying shame for the crime of the offender...In a clear flash we may see ourselves standing in a fierce stance, grounded by our knowledge, ready to throw off any wrongdoer. Our outrage can be a fueling energy, capable of making us as steely as we need to be.

rape rage recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse outrage child-rape healing-insights healing shame crime recovery child-sexual-abuse incest

Maureen Brady

491c703

We can ill afford to wait until we have worked through all our memories & feelings about incest before learning to rest & play. While it may seem to be a natural impulse to get to the bottom of things & purge ourselves fully, we need to regularly examine the full picture of our lives for balance along the way...Learning to rest & play is an essential part of our healing.

child-sexual-abuse-survivors recovery-from-abuse healing-insights healing-abuse healing-the-emotional-self healing incest survivors

Maureen Brady

5ff9694

Though our childhood abuse left us feeling someone ought to make reparation to us, if we wait a lifetime for that, we may never receive what we need. We choose instead to face the idea that from now on, we are going to take responsibility for caring for ourselves.

ask-for-forgiveness no-apologies reparation recovery-from-abuse healing-insights healing survivors

Maureen Brady

d7bba5c

It is a childish notion that once established, our boundaries will never be transgressed again...We shall have to stand for ourselves repeatedly for the rest of our lives. As we practice doing this, we come to greater ease...Eventually it may float over entirely into the positive realm--becoming only another chance to demonstrated our worthiness.

boundaries-quotes boundary-violations recovery-from-abuse boundaries healing-insights healing-abuse healing survivors

Maureen Brady