a3d3f84
Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.
death-and-dying
humor
humorous
humorous-quotations
internet
television
wisdom
wisdom-in-fiction
Chuck Palahniuk
8a5ca00
"Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. "I have to go." "You just got here." "Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress." "You're making that up." "I'm not." "So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?"
funny
humor
humorous
humorous-quotations
humorous-quote
humour
Rick Riordan
3912bd9
If anyone wanted ter find out some stuff, all they'd have ter do would be ter follow the spiders. That'd lead 'em right! That's all I'm sayin'.
humorous-quotations
spiders
J.K. Rowling
037f8b1
Tell them I have the headache--no, the plague! I need something nice and contagious.
humorous-quotations
mystery
Lauren Willig
c151b49
Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.
humor
humorous-quotations
ironic
irony
Terry Pratchett
9e3f4f7
You just wanted to walk in front of me so I'd have to stare at your butt
funny-quotes
humorous-quotations
Laurell K. Hamilton
9b4b575
What do you want?
humorous-quotations
Christopher Moore
70298e9
I doubt you would recognize an adventure of any sort if it came right up and bit you on the a--- Mother! I was going to say arm.
humorous-quotations
mothers
Victoria Alexander