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5eefe93 Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving. pratchett terry sky hat Terry Pratchett
8dee16f Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in Ankh-Morpork, but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of The Shades was suicide. Asking for a short in a dwarf bar was suicide. Saying 'Got rocks in your head?' to a troll was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren't careful. suicide pratchett discworld Terry Pratchett
fc82d55 Have - have you got an appointment?' he said. 'I don't know,' said Carrot. 'Have we got an appointment?' 'I've got an iron ball with spikes on,' Nobby volunteered. 'That's a morningstar, Nobby.' 'Is it?' 'Yes,' said Carrot. 'An appointment is an engagement to see someone, while a morningstar is a large lump of metal used for viciously crushing skulls. It is important not to confuse the two, isn't it, Mr-?' He raised his eyebrows. 'Boffo, sir. But-' 'So if you could perhaps run along and tell Dr Whiteface we're here with an iron ball with spi- What am I saying? I mean, without an appointment to see him? Please? Thank you. terry-pratchett carrot-ironfoundersson corporal-carrot men-at-arms pratchett discworld Terry Pratchett
f34d028 "Yeah, all right, but everyone knows they torture people," mumbled Sam. "Do they?" said Vimes. "Then why doesn't anyone do anything about it?" "'cos they torture people." vimes pratchett torture police Terry Pratchett
63e1b80 The fact is that camels are far more intelligent than dolphins. They are so much brighter that they soon realised that the most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendants not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships or being patronized rigid by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it. So they long ago plumped for a lifestyle that, in return for a certain amount of porterage and being prodded with sticks, allowed them adequate food and grooming and the chance to spit in a human's eye and get away with it. humor dolphins hitchhiker-s-guide-to-the-galaxy pratchett pyramids Terry Pratchett
51a02b3 Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book. literature pratchett Terry Pratchett
cf1cb11 It wasn't by eliminating the impossible that you got at the truth, however improbable; it was by the much harder process of eliminating the possibilities. You worked away, patiently asking questions and looking hard at things. You walked and talked, and in your heart you just hoped like hell that some bugger's nerve'd crack and he'd give himself up. terry-pratchett vimes pratchett feet-of-clay sam-vimes Terry Pratchett
9bce81f Well done,' said a voice somewhere behind him. 'Consciousness to sarcasm in five seconds! pratchett Terry Pratchett
77bea6f The universe, they say, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty, and bloody-mindedness. universe world pratchett forces Terry Pratchett
f6b968e I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on. 'Thank you. Er ... what is it?' ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD. 'Oh ...' THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON. 'Ah...' IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE. 'Really ...?' IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL. humor pratchett discworld Terry Pratchett
8efbb45 I'm your worst nightmare!' said Teatime cheerfully. The man shuddered. 'You mean ... the one with the giant cabbage and the sort of whirring knife thing?' 'Sorry?' Teatime looked momentarily nonplussed. 'Then you're the one where I'm falling, only instead of the ground underneath it's all --' 'No. In fact I'm --' The guard sagged. 'Awww, the one where there's all this kind of, you know, mud and then everything goes blue --' 'No, I'm --' 'Oh, , then you're the one where there's this door only there's no floor beyond it and then there's these claws --' 'No,' said Teatime. 'Not that one.' He withdrew a dagger from his sleeve. 'I'm the one where this man comes out of nowhere and kills you, stone dead. humor pratchett Terry Pratchett
ef4e375 Wolves hate werewolves.' 'What? That can't be right! When she's wolf-shaped she's just like a wolf!' 'So? When she's human-shaped she's just like a human. And what's that got to do with anything? Humans don't like werewolves. Wolves don't like werewolves. People don't like wolves that can think like people, an' people don't like people who can act like wolves. Which just goes to show that people are the same everywhere.' said Gaspode. He assessed this sentence and added, 'Even when they're wolves. terry-pratchett gaspode pratchett wolves werewolves Terry Pratchett
5ac59df Tiffany was on the whole quite a truthful person, but it seemed to her that there were times when things didn't divide easily into 'true' and 'false', but instead could be 'things that people needed to know at the moment' and 'things that they didn't need to know at the moment'. truth pratchett tiffany-aching Terry Pratchett
a6384a0 Sometimes it's like watching a wasp land on a stinging nettle: someone's going to get stung and you don't care. vimes pratchett Terry Pratchett
a4529ba Hrun the Barbarian, who was practilly an academic by Hub standards in that he could think without moving his lips. humor pratchett Terry Pratchett
fc67e82 "Everyone says it's going to be Snapcase at the palace. He listens to the people." "Yeah, right," said Vimes. And I listen to the thunder. But I don't do anything about it." snapcase pratchett Terry Pratchett
6ae99e7 That --ing zombie is going to end up on the end of a couple of --ing handy and versatile kebab skewers,' said Mr Tulip. 'An' then I'm gonna put an edge on this --ing spatula. An' then... then I'm gonna get medieval on his arse.' There were more pressing problems, but this one intrigued Mr Pin. 'How, exactly?' he said. 'I thought maybe a maypole,' said Mr Tulip reflectively. 'An' then a display of country dancing, land tillage under the three-filed system, several plagues and, if my --ing hand ain't too tired, the invention of the --ing horse collar. terry-pratchett mr-pin mr-tulip the-truth pratchett Terry Pratchett
c82dec9 But too much reading had taken its toll. William found that he now thought of prayer as a sophisticated way of pleading with thunderstorms. terry-pratchett the-truth william-de-worde pratchett Terry Pratchett
e1a7ea5 Are you staying with us? It could be dangerous,' said William, realizing that he was saying this to a vampire iconographer who undied every time he took a picture. terry-pratchett otto-chriek william-de-worde pratchett Terry Pratchett
a0dccda That's No'-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock, mistress,' said Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock. 'Ye were one jock short,' he added helpfully. quote pratchett Terry Pratchett
a2b1629 Adam looked at Them. They were his kind of people, too. You just had to decide who your friends really were. pratchett good-omens Terry Pratchett
2e2f0f6 "Why are our people going out there," said Mr. Boggis of the Thieves' Guild. "Because they are showing a brisk pioneering spirit and seeking wealth and ... additional wealth in a new land," said Lord Vetinari. "What's in it for the Klatchians?" said Lord Downey. "Oh, they've gone out there because they are a bunch of unprincipled opportunists always ready to grab something for northern," said Lord Vetinari. "A mastery summation, if I may say so, my lord," said Mr. Burleigh. The Patrician looked down again at his notes. "Oh, I do beg your pardon, I seem to have read those last to sentences in the wrong order..." science-fiction-fantasy pratchett Terry Pratchett
929d5a9 "Can't we do anything about it?" - "No!" - "Then I can't see the sense in panicking", said Twoflower calmly" humor ricewind pratchett twoflower Terry Pratchett
d9405bf ...but William felt in his bones that you couldn't run a city on the basis of what the Watch liked. The Watch would probably like it if everyone spent their time indoors, with their hands on the table where people could see them. terry-pratchett the-truth the-city-watch william-de-worde pratchett Terry Pratchett
52f837f It wasn't a city, it was a process, a weight on the world that distorted the land for hundreds of miles around. People who'd never see it in their whole life nevertheless spent that life working for it. Thousands and thousands of green acres were part of it, forests were part of it. It drew in and consumed... ...and gave back the dung from its pens, and the soot from its chimneys, and steel, and saucepans, and all the tools by which its food was made. And also clothes, and fashions, and ideas, and interesting vices, songs, and knowledge, and something which, if looked at in the right light, was called civilization. That was what civilization meant. It meant the city. pratchett Terry Pratchett
1ff716e The truly smart, having discovered they are cleverer than the people around them, soon learn that the smartest thing of all for them to do is to prevent said people from ever finding this out. humor pratchett Terry Pratchett