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If you're listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday. I'd like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun--I'm afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened.
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humour
funny
giant-snake
ra
tsunamis
riordan
tornado
rebellious
riots
serpent
floods
earthquakes
survive
sun
snake
funny-and-random
sadie-kane
destruction
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Rick Riordan |
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Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit.
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humour
funny
giant-snake
ra
tsunamis
riordan
tornado
rebellious
riots
serpent
floods
earthquakes
survive
sun
snake
funny-and-random
sadie-kane
destruction
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Rick Riordan |
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"Hello Ra," he said in a kindly voice. "It's been a long time." A feeble voice from behind the chair said,"Can't play. Go away." "would you like a treat?" Apophis asked. "we used to play so nicely together. Every night, trying to kill each other. Don't you remember?" Ra poked his head above the throne. "Treat?" "How about a stuffed date?" Apophis pulled one out of the air. "You used to love stuffed dates, didn't you? All you have to do is come out and let me devour-- I mean entertain you." " Want a cookie," Ra said. "What kind?" "Weasel cookie." I'm here to tell you, that comment about weasel cookies probably saved the known universe."
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weasel-cookies
ra
carter
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Rick Riordan |
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"Yes, an actual full-sized camel. If you find that confusing, just think how the criosphinx must have felt. Where did the camel come from, you ask? I may have mentioned Walt's collection of amulets. Two of them summoned disgusting camels. I'd met them before, so I was less than excited when a ton of dromedary flesh flew across my line of sight, plowed into the sphinx, and collapsed on top of it. The sphinx growled in outrage as it tried to free itself. The camel grunted and farted. "Hindenburg," I said. Only one camel could possibly fart that badly. "Walt, why in the world--?" "Sorry!" he yelled. "Wrong amulet!" The technique worked, at any rate. The camel wasn't much of a fighter, but it was quite heavy and clumsy. The criosphinx snarled and clawed at the floor, trying unsuccessfully to push the camel off; but Hindenburg just splayed his legs, made alarmed honking sounds, and let loose gas. I moved to Walt's side and tried to get my bearings."
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humour
funny
giant-snake
ra
tsunamis
riordan
tornado
rebellious
riots
serpent
floods
earthquakes
survive
sun
snake
funny-and-random
sadie-kane
destruction
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Rick Riordan |