the-only-story

Link	Quote	Tags	Author
d11c7d9	Though sometimes, first love cauterises the heart, and all any searcher will find thereafter is scar tissue.	first-love heart heartbreak julian-barnes metaphor the-only-story trauma	Julian Barnes
1bf1e80	You're still in it. You'll always be in it. No, not literally. But in your heart. Nothing ever ends, not if it's gone that deep. You'll always be walking wounded. That's the only choice, after a while. Walking wounded, or dead. Don't you agree?	irrevocable julian-barnes relationships the-only-story walking-wounded	Julian Barnes
1588628	Susan had pointed out that everyone has their love story. Even if it was a fiasco, even if it fizzled out, never got going, had all been in the mind to begin with: that didn't make it any the less real. And it was the only story.	love love-story the-only-story unrequited-love	Julian Barnes
9bc4792	Everyone has their love story. Everyone. It may have been a fiasco, it may have fizzled out, it may never even have got going, it may have been all in the mind, that doesn't make it any less real. Sometimes, it makes it more real. Sometimes, you see a couple, and they seem bored witless with one another, and you can't imagine them having anything in common, or why they're still living together. But it's not just habit or complacency or convention or anything like that. It's because once, they had their love story. Everyone does. It's the only story.	julian-barnes love love-story meaningful relationships the-only-story true-love unrequited-love validation	Julian Barnes
a023226	I think there's a different authenticity to memory, and not an inferior one. Memory sorts and sifts according to the demands made on it by the rememberer.	julian-barnes memory the-only-story	Julian Barnes
e806c93	Because once you had been through certain things, their presence inside you never really disappeared.	irrevocable julian-barnes ptsd the-only-story	Julian Barnes
1f6bdbc	He sometimes asked himself a question about life. Which are truer, the happy memories, or the unhappy ones? He decided, eventually, that the question was unanswerable.	julian-barnes life memories memory the-only-story truth unanswerable unhappy-memories	Julian Barnes
84fa21d	"We're leaving," I told her one July afternoon. "We? You and I? Where are we going, young Master Paul? Do you have your belongings tied up in a red-spotted handkerchief on a stick?" --	dialogue humor julian-barnes teasing the-only-story	Julian Barnes
cc7a401	And who does not want their love authenticated?	love the-only-story	Julian Barnes
9c3d01a	You see--I hope you never get there yourself--but some of us get to the point in life where we realise that nothing matters. Nothing fucking matters.	julian-barnes nihilism nothing-matters the-only-story world-weary	Julian Barnes
b7dc5e9	Once bitten, twice shy; twice bitten, forever shy.	hurt julian-barnes once-bitten-twice-shy the-only-story wounded	Julian Barnes
b1bd128	Most of us have only one story to tell. I don't mean that only one thing happens to us in our lives: there are countless events, which we turn into countless stories. But there's only one that matters, only one finally worth telling. This is mine.	quote the-only-story	Julian Barnes
2dceade	And one other thing: don't ask me about the weather. I don't much remember what the weather has been like during my life. True, I can remember how hot sun gave greater impetus to sex; how sudden snow delighted, and how cold, damp days set off those early symptoms that eventually led to a double hip replacement. But nothing significant in my life ever happened during, let alone because of, weather. So if you don't mind, meteorology will play no part in my story. Though you are free to deduce, when I am found playing grass-court tennis, that it was neither raining nor snowing at the time.	julian-barnes the-only-story weather	Julian Barnes
5f9d283	My parents' marriage, to my unforgiving nineteen-year-old eye, was a car crash of cliche. Though I would have to admit, as the one making the judgement, that a 'car crash of of cliche' is itself a cliche.	humor julian-barnes language the-only-story	Julian Barnes
f622e5d	And perhaps I I didn't even understand the young when I was young. That could be true too.	julian-barnes out-of-the-loop outsider the-only-story young youth	Julian Barnes
faa1df6	Nowadays, at the other end of life, I have a rule of thumb about whether or not two people are having an affair: if you think they might be, then they definitely are.	affairs julian-barnes the-only-story	Julian Barnes
1726bbc	So. I see where you're going--bus number 27 to a crossroads near Delphi. Look, I did not want, at any point, on any level, to kill my own father and sleep with my own mother. It's true that I wanted to sleep with Susan--and did so many times--and for a number of years thought of killing Gordon Macleod, but that is another part of the story. Not to put too fine a point on it, I think the Oedipus myth is precisely what it started off as: melodrama rather than psychology. In all my years of life I've never met anyone to whom it might apply. You think I'm being naive? You wish to point out that human motivation is deviously buried, and hides its mysterious workings from those who blindly submit to it? Perhaps so. But even--especially--Oedipus didn't to kill his father and sleep with his mother, did he? Oh yes he did! Oh no he didn't! Yes, let's just leave it as a pantomime exchange.	clever humor julian-barnes oedipal oedipus psychology the-only-story	Julian Barnes
38ef61a	Later--well, what came later, came later.	julian-barnes later the-only-story	Julian Barnes
930002a	"Sit yourself down," Joan instructed as we reached the the fag-fogged, gin-scented den that was nominally her sitting room." --	humor julian-barnes the-only-story	Julian Barnes
ba31f07	And first love always happens in the overwhelming first person. How can it not? Also, in the overwhelming present tense. It takes us time to realise that there are other persons, and other tenses.	first-person julian-barnes language present-tense the-only-story	Julian Barnes
d3486c7	So (and this would have happened earlier, but I am only remembering it now): I am visiting her one afternoon.	memory nonlinear storytelling the-only-story	Julian Barnes
128906b	Whereas it seemed to me, back then, in the absolutism of my condition, that love had nothing to do with practicality; indeed, was its polar opposite. And the fact that it showed contempt for such banal considerations was part of its glory. Love was by its very nature disruptive, cataclysmic; and if it was not, then it was not love.	julian-barnes love practicality the-only-story	Julian Barnes
ce59c1f	It is only a metaphor--or the worst of dreams; yet there are metaphors which sit more powerfully in the brain than remembered events.	julian-barnes memory metaphor reality the-only-story	Julian Barnes
901d20b	But that was the nature of relationships: there always seemed to be an imbalance of one sort or another.	julian-barnes power-dynamics relationship-dynamics relationships the-only-story	Julian Barnes
86b4123	She has only a ghostplay on some frayed screen of memory, which she takes to be the present.	memory memory-loss the-only-story	Julian Barnes
cb18497	And even when he guessed that the love stories of the misled and the forsaken had become a little less authentic with each retelling . . . even if this was the case, he was still moved. Indeed, he was more moved by the lives of the bereft and the unchosen than he was by stories of success in love.	forsaken julian-barnes love love-stories the-only-story unlucky-in-love unrequited-love	Julian Barnes
2691fb4	The sadness of life. That was another conundrum he would occasionally ponder.	life sadness the-only-story	Julian Barnes
1dc8c7d	He knew what they said of him locally: Oh, he likes to keep himself to himself. The phrase was descriptive, not judgemental. It was a principle of life the English still respected. And it wasn't just about privacy, about an Englishman's home--even a pebbledash semi--being his castle. It was about something more: about the self, and where you kept it, and who, if anyone, was allowed to fully see it.	englishman inner-life julian-barnes privacy the-only-story the-self	Julian Barnes
00711e9	The long answer was too time-consuming to give. The short answer was too painful. It went like this. It was a question of what heartbreak is, and how exactly the heart breaks, and what is left of it afterwards.	heart heartbreak julian-barnes painful the-only-story	Julian Barnes
1a98bef	Love means never having to say you're sorry (on the contrary, it frequently means doing just precisely that). Then there were all those love lines from all those love songs, with the swooning delusions of lyricist, singer, band.	love love-songs platitudes the-only-story	Julian Barnes
9f71671	He never recorded the writer or the source: he didn't want to be bullied by reputation; truth should stand by itself, clear and unsupported.	quotations the-only-story truth	Julian Barnes
927621b	From love's absolutism to love's absolution? No: I don't believe in the cosy narratives of life some find necessary, just as I choke on comforting words like redemption and closure. Death is the only closure I believe in; and the wound will stay open until that final shutting of the doors. As for redemption, it's far too neat, a movie-maker's bromide; and beyond that, it feels like something grand, which human beings are too imperfect to deserve, much less bestow upon themselves.	closure death julian-barnes love platitudes realism redemption sad the-only-story	Julian Barnes

Though sometimes, first love cauterises the heart, and all any searcher will find thereafter is scar tissue.

first-love heart heartbreak julian-barnes metaphor the-only-story trauma

Julian Barnes

1bf1e80

You're still in it. You'll always be in it. No, not literally. But in your heart. Nothing ever ends, not if it's gone that deep. You'll always be walking wounded. That's the only choice, after a while. Walking wounded, or dead. Don't you agree?

irrevocable julian-barnes relationships the-only-story walking-wounded

Julian Barnes

1588628

Susan had pointed out that everyone has their love story. Even if it was a fiasco, even if it fizzled out, never got going, had all been in the mind to begin with: that didn't make it any the less real. And it was the only story.

love love-story the-only-story unrequited-love

Julian Barnes

9bc4792

Everyone has their love story. Everyone. It may have been a fiasco, it may have fizzled out, it may never even have got going, it may have been all in the mind, that doesn't make it any less real. Sometimes, it makes it more real. Sometimes, you see a couple, and they seem bored witless with one another, and you can't imagine them having anything in common, or why they're still living together. But it's not just habit or complacency or convention or anything like that. It's because once, they had their love story. Everyone does. It's the only story.

julian-barnes love love-story meaningful relationships the-only-story true-love unrequited-love validation

Julian Barnes

a023226

I think there's a different authenticity to memory, and not an inferior one. Memory sorts and sifts according to the demands made on it by the rememberer.

julian-barnes memory the-only-story

Julian Barnes

e806c93

Because once you had been through certain things, their presence inside you never really disappeared.

irrevocable julian-barnes ptsd the-only-story

Julian Barnes

1f6bdbc

He sometimes asked himself a question about life. Which are truer, the happy memories, or the unhappy ones? He decided, eventually, that the question was unanswerable.

julian-barnes life memories memory the-only-story truth unanswerable unhappy-memories

Julian Barnes

84fa21d

"We're leaving," I told her one July afternoon. "We? You and I? Where are we going, young Master Paul? Do you have your belongings tied up in a red-spotted handkerchief on a stick?" --

dialogue humor julian-barnes teasing the-only-story

Julian Barnes

cc7a401

And who does not want their love authenticated?

love the-only-story

Julian Barnes

9c3d01a

You see--I hope you never get there yourself--but some of us get to the point in life where we realise that nothing matters. Nothing fucking matters.

julian-barnes nihilism nothing-matters the-only-story world-weary

Julian Barnes

b7dc5e9

Once bitten, twice shy; twice bitten, forever shy.

hurt julian-barnes once-bitten-twice-shy the-only-story wounded

Julian Barnes

b1bd128

Most of us have only one story to tell. I don't mean that only one thing happens to us in our lives: there are countless events, which we turn into countless stories. But there's only one that matters, only one finally worth telling. This is mine.

quote the-only-story

Julian Barnes

2dceade

And one other thing: don't ask me about the weather. I don't much remember what the weather has been like during my life. True, I can remember how hot sun gave greater impetus to sex; how sudden snow delighted, and how cold, damp days set off those early symptoms that eventually led to a double hip replacement. But nothing significant in my life ever happened during, let alone because of, weather. So if you don't mind, meteorology will play no part in my story. Though you are free to deduce, when I am found playing grass-court tennis, that it was neither raining nor snowing at the time.

julian-barnes the-only-story weather

Julian Barnes

5f9d283

My parents' marriage, to my unforgiving nineteen-year-old eye, was a car crash of cliche. Though I would have to admit, as the one making the judgement, that a 'car crash of of cliche' is itself a cliche.

humor julian-barnes language the-only-story

Julian Barnes

f622e5d

And perhaps I I didn't even understand the young when I was young. That could be true too.

julian-barnes out-of-the-loop outsider the-only-story young youth

Julian Barnes

faa1df6

Nowadays, at the other end of life, I have a rule of thumb about whether or not two people are having an affair: if you think they might be, then they definitely are.

affairs julian-barnes the-only-story

Julian Barnes

1726bbc

So. I see where you're going--bus number 27 to a crossroads near Delphi. Look, I did not want, at any point, on any level, to kill my own father and sleep with my own mother. It's true that I wanted to sleep with Susan--and did so many times--and for a number of years thought of killing Gordon Macleod, but that is another part of the story. Not to put too fine a point on it, I think the Oedipus myth is precisely what it started off as: melodrama rather than psychology. In all my years of life I've never met anyone to whom it might apply. You think I'm being naive? You wish to point out that human motivation is deviously buried, and hides its mysterious workings from those who blindly submit to it? Perhaps so. But even--especially--Oedipus didn't to kill his father and sleep with his mother, did he? Oh yes he did! Oh no he didn't! Yes, let's just leave it as a pantomime exchange.

clever humor julian-barnes oedipal oedipus psychology the-only-story

Julian Barnes

38ef61a

Later--well, what came later, came later.

julian-barnes later the-only-story

Julian Barnes

930002a

"Sit yourself down," Joan instructed as we reached the the fag-fogged, gin-scented den that was nominally her sitting room." --

humor julian-barnes the-only-story

Julian Barnes

ba31f07

And first love always happens in the overwhelming first person. How can it not? Also, in the overwhelming present tense. It takes us time to realise that there are other persons, and other tenses.

first-person julian-barnes language present-tense the-only-story

Julian Barnes

d3486c7

So (and this would have happened earlier, but I am only remembering it now): I am visiting her one afternoon.

memory nonlinear storytelling the-only-story

Julian Barnes

128906b

Whereas it seemed to me, back then, in the absolutism of my condition, that love had nothing to do with practicality; indeed, was its polar opposite. And the fact that it showed contempt for such banal considerations was part of its glory. Love was by its very nature disruptive, cataclysmic; and if it was not, then it was not love.

julian-barnes love practicality the-only-story

Julian Barnes

ce59c1f

It is only a metaphor--or the worst of dreams; yet there are metaphors which sit more powerfully in the brain than remembered events.

julian-barnes memory metaphor reality the-only-story

Julian Barnes

901d20b

But that was the nature of relationships: there always seemed to be an imbalance of one sort or another.

julian-barnes power-dynamics relationship-dynamics relationships the-only-story

Julian Barnes

86b4123

She has only a ghostplay on some frayed screen of memory, which she takes to be the present.

memory memory-loss the-only-story

Julian Barnes

cb18497

And even when he guessed that the love stories of the misled and the forsaken had become a little less authentic with each retelling . . . even if this was the case, he was still moved. Indeed, he was more moved by the lives of the bereft and the unchosen than he was by stories of success in love.

forsaken julian-barnes love love-stories the-only-story unlucky-in-love unrequited-love

Julian Barnes

2691fb4

The sadness of life. That was another conundrum he would occasionally ponder.

life sadness the-only-story

Julian Barnes

1dc8c7d

He knew what they said of him locally: Oh, he likes to keep himself to himself. The phrase was descriptive, not judgemental. It was a principle of life the English still respected. And it wasn't just about privacy, about an Englishman's home--even a pebbledash semi--being his castle. It was about something more: about the self, and where you kept it, and who, if anyone, was allowed to fully see it.

englishman inner-life julian-barnes privacy the-only-story the-self

Julian Barnes

00711e9

The long answer was too time-consuming to give. The short answer was too painful. It went like this. It was a question of what heartbreak is, and how exactly the heart breaks, and what is left of it afterwards.

heart heartbreak julian-barnes painful the-only-story

Julian Barnes

1a98bef

Love means never having to say you're sorry (on the contrary, it frequently means doing just precisely that). Then there were all those love lines from all those love songs, with the swooning delusions of lyricist, singer, band.

love love-songs platitudes the-only-story

Julian Barnes

9f71671

He never recorded the writer or the source: he didn't want to be bullied by reputation; truth should stand by itself, clear and unsupported.

quotations the-only-story truth

Julian Barnes

927621b

From love's absolutism to love's absolution? No: I don't believe in the cosy narratives of life some find necessary, just as I choke on comforting words like redemption and closure. Death is the only closure I believe in; and the wound will stay open until that final shutting of the doors. As for redemption, it's far too neat, a movie-maker's bromide; and beyond that, it feels like something grand, which human beings are too imperfect to deserve, much less bestow upon themselves.

closure death julian-barnes love platitudes realism redemption sad the-only-story

Julian Barnes