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f6831ac
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I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives.
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C.D. Payne |
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a5a4c16
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Do you suppose the human race invented boredom to make the prospect of death more palatable?
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C.D. Payne |
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d2e758e
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Confession can be good for the soul, but it can exact a heavy toll on friendships.
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C.D. Payne |
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92f6d36
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Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one's groin greets each day with such a gala spectacle of physical optimism?
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sex
optimism
humor
teens
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C.D. Payne |
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4175c71
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As much as I think about sex, I can only with extreme difficulty conceive of myself actually performing the act. And here's another thing I wonder about. How could you ever look a girl in the eye after you've had your winkie up her wendell? I mean, doesn't that render normal social conversation impossible? Apparently not.
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sex
teens-sex-awkward-jocks
satire
teens
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C.D. Payne |
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403edc5
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I've decided Mom's boyfriends are a lot like U.S. Presidents. You keep thinking they can't get any worse. And then she comes up with a Lance Wescott.
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C.D. Payne |
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eb060cc
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I take it, then, Vijay, you are still a virgin?' Yes, and I find it extremely galling. When Gandhi was my age he had already been married three years.' No wonder Gandhi turned out to be a great man. When you get your love life nailed down that early, think of all the time it frees up to devote to Great Ideas.
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C.D. Payne |
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d514d04
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Now I know why women get their ears pierced. Once they've survived this ordeal of mutilation, they can face the discomforts of childbirth with equanimity.
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C.D. Payne |
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cc5875c
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Dwayne! Don't be ridiculous. Guy's don't share their girlfriends.' Why not?' Because they don't. Men are instinctually competitive. It's so there'll be lots of wars to keep overpopulation in check.
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C.D. Payne |