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c3adf16
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If "con" is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress? Or did we just fucking blow your mind?!?" --
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Jon Stewart |
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266e73f
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It's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what was out there. We were obsessed with the moon and whether we could one day visit it. The day we finally walked on it was celebrated worldwide as perhaps man's greatest achievement. But it was while we were there, gathering rocks from the moon's desolate landscape, that we looked up and caught a glimpse of just how incredible our own planet w..
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earth
moon
space
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Jon Stewart |
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2721b45
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Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.
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Jon Stewart |
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a0d87c6
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So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with an aggressive and far-sighted debt-relief program that breaks the cycle of subsistence farming and urban squalor. Short answer: No.
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Jon Stewart |
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423d37a
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Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles were also due.
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confederation
constitution
failure
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Jon Stewart |
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8c91e88
|
It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs.
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politics
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Jon Stewart |
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83e26bf
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The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that never actually existed. The Democrats are utopians. They seek to create an America so fair and non-judgmental that life becomes an unbearable series of apologies. Together, the two parties function like giant down comforters, allowing a candidate to disappear into the enveloping softness, protecting them from exposure ..
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Jon Stewart |
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e1595ac
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Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq.
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Jon Stewart |
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0a3377d
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We owe Clint Eastwood a debt of thanks. Not only because it was truly a hilarious twelve minutes of improvised "awesome" in a week of scripted "blah". But because it advanced our understanding. This president has issues, and there are very legitimate debates about his policies and actions, and successes and or failures as president - I mean, tune in next week. But I could never wrap my head around why the world, and the president republic..
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politics
tea-party
current-events
presidents
washington-dc-politics
tea-party-movement
republicans
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Jon Stewart |
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3bd5c63
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While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from . And while it would be nice if that "something" was simple human decency, anybody who has witnessed the "50% Off Wedding Dress Sale" at Filene's Basement knows we need a backup plan--preferably in writing. On the other hand, too many laws can result in outright tyranny, particularly if one of those laws is " ." Somewhere betwe..
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legislature
anarchy
congress
fascism
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Jon Stewart |
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e152caf
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The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too.
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politics-of-the-united-states
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Jon Stewart |
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ac380dc
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Each party has a platform--a pre-fixed menu of beliefs making up its worldview. The candidate can choose one of the two platforms, but remember: no substitutions. For example, do you support healthcare? Then you must also want a ban on assault weapons. Pro limited government? Congratulations, you are also anti-abortion. Luckily, all human opinion falls neatly into one of the two clearly defined camps. Thus, the two-party system elegantly re..
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Jon Stewart |
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c121933
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You know what they say: If at first you don't succeed, f**k it.
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Jon Stewart |
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0042cd9
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As heirs to a legacy more than two centuries old, it is understandable why present-day Americans would take their own democracy for granted. A president freely chosen from a wide-open field of two men every four years; a Congress with a 99% incumbency rate; a Supreme Court comprised of nine politically appointed judges whose only oversight is the icy scythe of Death -- all these reveal a system fully capable of maintaining itself. But our p..
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politics
humor
supreme-court
voting
democracy
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Jon Stewart |
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d75c926
|
If your world does not include enough access to different people, and their world does not include enough access to you, you are speaking from ignorance.
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Jon Stewart |
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e8afab2
|
It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.
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humor
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Jon Stewart |
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b5c9bf8
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Campaigns and elections are the process in which democracy separates the willing from the able, and goes with the willing.
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Jon Stewart |
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f965754
|
Often, no sooner would the mind begin to scale the heights of Mt. Knowledge than it would receive a frantic call from body base camp, demanding it return to oversee "Operation Masturbate."
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masturbation
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Jon Stewart |
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30935ad
|
Classroom Activities 1. Using felt and yarn, make a hand puppet of . Ta-da! You're !
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humor
antonin-scalia
clarence-thomas
scotus
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Jon Stewart |
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7146075
|
It is perhaps a sign of the strength of our republic that so few people feel the need to participate. That must be the reason.
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humor
voting
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Jon Stewart |
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738da39
|
And this, this, is their genius. Conservatives are not looking to make education more rigorous and informative, or science more empirical or verifiable, or voting more representative, or the government more efficient or effective. They just want all those things to reinforce their partisan, ideological, conservative viewpoint.
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Jon Stewart |
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0435d5e
|
I signed up for what? I thought I was just ordering cable.
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Jon Stewart |
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43bb6ac
|
The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
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Jon Stewart |
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265dba9
|
This show is our own personal beliefs.
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Jon Stewart |
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88a86ed
|
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
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Jon Stewart |
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2c40427
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The American people. For their just utter patience.
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Jon Stewart |
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7a7fe50
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Good evening everybody, ladies, gentlemen... Felicity.
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Jon Stewart |