5da7016
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And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.
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poetry
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Raymond Carver |
1f85264
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I loved you so much once. I did. More than anything in the whole wide world. Imagine that. What a laugh that is now. Can you believe it? We were so intimate once upon a time I can't believe it now. The memory of being that intimate with somebody. We were so intimate I could puke. I can't imagine ever being that intimate with somebody else. I haven't been.
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past
love
intimacy
memory
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Raymond Carver |
fb7a294
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I've crossed some kind of invisible line. I feel as if I've come to a place I never thought I'd have to come to. And I don't know how I got here. It's a strange place. It's a place where a little harmless dreaming and then some sleepy, early-morning talk has led me into considerations of death and annihilation.
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sleep
death
life
insomnia
place
dreaming
lost
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Raymond Carver |
4450ec0
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But I can hardly sit still. I keep fidgeting, crossing one leg and then the other. I feel like I could throw off sparks, or break a window--maybe rearrange all the furniture.
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life
hyper
excitement
wild
fireworks
crazy
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Raymond Carver |
7a943cd
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Honey, no offense, but sometimes I think I could shoot you and watch you kick.
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violence
love
offense
shoot
kick
sweet
joke
intimacy
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Raymond Carver |
7046199
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Dreams, you know, are what you wake up from.
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the-bridle
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Raymond Carver |
5733087
|
You've got to work with your mistakes until they look intended. Understand?
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Raymond Carver |
26dfa5d
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There was a time when I thought I loved my first wife more than life itself. But now I hate her guts. I do. How do you explain that? What happened to that love? What happened to it, is what I'd like to know. I wish someone could tell me.
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hate
love
falling-out
love-to-hate
divorce
questioning
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Raymond Carver |
adcd233
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there isn't enough of anything as long as we live. But at intervals a sweetness appears and, given a chance prevails.
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poetry
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Raymond Carver |
cdc8ae6
|
Something's died in me," she goes. "It took a long time for it to do it, but it's dead. You've killed something, just like you'd took an axe to it. Everything is dirt now."
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Raymond Carver |
f739db3
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This is awful. I don't know what's going to happen to me or to anyone else in the world.
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gazebo
pessimism
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Raymond Carver |
6658984
|
He wondered if she wondered if he were watching her.
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Raymond Carver |
62131b6
|
Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read. Fought against it for a minute. Then looked out the window at the rain. And gave over. Put myself entirely in the keep of this rainy morning. Would I live my life over again? Make the same unforgivable mistakes? Yes, given half a chance. Yes.
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Raymond Carver |
d9505b8
|
So early it's still almost dark out. I'm near the window with coffee, and the usual early morning stuff that passes for thought. When I see the boy and his friend walking up the road to deliver the newspaper. They wear caps and sweaters, and one boy has a bag over his shoulder. They are so happy they aren't saying anything, these boys. I think if they could, they would take each other's arm. It's early in the morning, and they are doing thi..
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poetry
life
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Raymond Carver |
8feca8c
|
and it ought to make us feel ashamed when we talk like we know what we're talking about when we talk about love.
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Raymond Carver |
b317087
|
There is no answer. It's okay. But even if it wasn't okay, what am I supposed to do?
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Raymond Carver |
429f24d
|
But he stays by the window, remembering that life. They had laughed. They had leaned on each other and laughed until the tears had come, while everything else--the cold and where he'd go in it--was outside, for a while anyway.
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Raymond Carver |
0813168
|
And certain things around us will change, become easier or harder, one thing or the other, but nothing will ever really be any different. I believe that. We have made our decisions, our lives have been set in motion, and they will go on and on until they stop. But if that is true, then what? I mean, what if you believe that, but you keep it covered up, until one day something happens that should change something, but then you see nothing is..
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Raymond Carver |
dff7370
|
I hate tricks. At the first sign of a trick or gimmick in a piece of fiction, a cheap trick or even an elaborate trick, I tend to look for cover. Tricks are ultimately boring, and I get bored easily, which may go along with my not having much of an attention span. But extremely clever chi-chi writing, or just plain tomfoolery writing, puts me to sleep. Writers don't need tricks or gimmicks or even necessarily need to be the smartest fellows..
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Raymond Carver |
cb80c5e
|
There is in the soul a desire for not thinking. For being still. Coupled with this a desire to be strict, yes, and rigorous. But the soul is also a smooth son of a bitch, not always trustworthy. And I forgot that.
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Raymond Carver |
0ae9b8e
|
Booze takes a lot of time and effort if you're going to do a good job with it.
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Raymond Carver |
a263b18
|
All this, all of this love we're talking about, it would just be a memory. Maybe not even a memory. Am I wrong? Am I way off base? Because I want you to set me straight if you think I'm wrong. I want to know. I mean, I don't know anything, and I'm the first one to admit it.
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Raymond Carver |
a1f2ce6
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At least I want to get up early one more morning, before sunrise. Before the birds, even. I want to throw cold water on my face and be at my work table when the sky lightens and smoke begins to rise from the chimneys of the other houses. I want to see the waves break on this rocky beach, not just hear them break as I did in my sleep. I want to see again the ships that pass through the Strait from every seafaring country in the world - old, ..
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poetry
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Raymond Carver |
f72b305
|
Happiness. It comes on
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poetry
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Raymond Carver |
2b8bc4e
|
My heart is broken," she goes. "It's turned to a piece of stone. I'm no good. That's what's as bad as anything, that I'm no good anymore."
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Raymond Carver |
456f882
|
Drinking's funny. When I look back on it, all of our important decisions have been figured out when we were drinking. Even when we talked about having to cut back on drinking, we'd be sitting at the kitchen table or out at the picnic table with a six-pack or whiskey.
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Raymond Carver |
32a560a
|
There was this funny thing of anything could happen now that we realized everything had.
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life
misery
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Raymond Carver |
40c7d83
|
My lungs are thick with the smoke of your absence.
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Raymond Carver |
85b2223
|
The places where water comes together with other water. Those places stand out in my mind like holy places.
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Raymond Carver |
21bc25a
|
I'm a heart surgeon, sure, but I'm just a mechanic. I go in and I fuck around and I fix things. Shit.
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work
heart
love
mechanic
fix
swearing
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Raymond Carver |
112c8ba
|
Then I said something. I said, Suppose, just suppose, nothing had ever happened. Suppose this was for the first time. Just suppose. It doesn't hurt to suppose. Say none of the other had ever happened. You know what I mean? Then what? I said.
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life
suppose
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Raymond Carver |
f39bda1
|
A man can go along obeying all the rules and then it don't matter a damn anymore.
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Raymond Carver |
b2c6a06
|
You see, this happened a few months ago, but it's still going on right now, and it ought to make us feel ashamed when we talk like we know what we're talking about when we talk about love.
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time
talk
shame
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Raymond Carver |
22055b7
|
I'm always learning something. Learning never ends.
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Raymond Carver |
92999dd
|
I'd like to go out in the front yard and shout something. "None of this is worth it!" That's what I'd like people to hear."
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Raymond Carver |
9253092
|
If we're lucky, writer and reader alike, we'll finish the last line or two of a short story and then just sit for a minute, quietly. Ideally, we'll ponder what we've just written or read; maybe our hearts or intellects will have been moved off the peg just a little from where they were before. Our body temperature will have gone up, or down, by a degree. Then, breathing evenly and steadily once more, we'll collect ourselves, writers and rea..
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writing
thought
short-stories
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Raymond Carver |
d300dc1
|
Ralph also took some classes in philosophy and literature and felt himself on the brink of some kind of huge discovery about himself. But it never came.
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Raymond Carver |
4486d4e
|
Well, the husband was very depressed for the longest while. Even after he found out that his wife was going to pull through, he was still very depressed. Not about the accident, though. I mean, the accident was one thing, but it wasn't everything. I'd get up to his mouth-hole, you know, and he'd say no, it wasn't the accident exactly but it was because he couldn't see her through his eye-holes. He said that was what was making him feel bad...
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marriage
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Raymond Carver |
fa28bc7
|
It's akin to style, what I'm talking about, but it isn't style alone. It is the writer's particular and unmistakable signature on everything he writes. It is his world and no other. This is one of the things that distinguishes one writer from another. Not talent. There's plenty of that around. But a writer who has some special way of looking at things and who gives artistic expression to that way of looking: that writer may be around for a ..
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Raymond Carver |
b88da62
|
All of us, all of us, all of us trying to save our immortal souls, some ways seemingly more round about and mysterious than others. We are having a good time here. But hope all will be revealed soon.
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Raymond Carver |
d4343de
|
The light was draining out of the room, going back through the window where it had come from.
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Raymond Carver |
ff1b79a
|
They talked on into the early morning, the high, pale cast of light in the windows, and they did not think of leaving.
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pain
grief
loss
light
pale
windows
morning
leaving
talk
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Raymond Carver |
f22aada
|
I'm moving to Nevada. Either there or kill myself.
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suicide
|
Raymond Carver |
dd54b77
|
We knew our days were numbered. We had fouled up our lives and we were getting ready for a shake-up.
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life
gazebo
|
Raymond Carver |