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cada5ed
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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
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Steven Wright |
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a9eb1a1
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When I first read the dictionary, I thought it was a long poem about everything.
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Steven Wright |
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c64da63
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Everywhere is walking distance if you've got the time.
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Steven Wright |
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ec7b57b
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Sometimes you cannot hear me, it's because sometimes I'm in parentheses.
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Steven Wright |
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5fd9169
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I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.
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Steven Wright |
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acd487b
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A lot of people are afraid of heights; not me, I'm afraid of widths.
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Steven Wright |
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f98212b
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I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote," so right before I die I could say "unquote."
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Steven Wright |
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4544cc3
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They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven... They're right.
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Steven Wright |
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f6fc5f5
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I bought a new camera. It's very advanced. You don't even need it.
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Steven Wright |
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f7d506f
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. [sighs] It's a start...
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Steven Wright |
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9e5d4cf
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I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
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Steven Wright |
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57eda24
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I tried to hang myself with bungie cords. I kept almost dying.
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Steven Wright |