I did believe that my behavior made me unusual - because it didn't seem to match the behavior of other women - but I didn't believe it made me bad...I could have spent the rest of the life trying to prove that I was a good girl - but that would have been unfaithful to who I really was. I believed that I was a good person, if not a good girl...So I gave up on the idea of denying myself what I truly wanted. Then I sought ways to delight myself...Anyway, at some point in a woman's life, she just gets tired of being ashamed all the time. After that, she is free to become whoever she truly is.