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Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy--the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
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light
courage
love
inspirational
belonging
vulnerability
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Brene Brown |
81b8f27
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The real questions for parents should be: "Are you engaged? Are you paying attention?" If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions. Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try to figure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time. The mandate is not to be perfect and raise happy children. Perfection doesn't exist, and I've found what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be co..
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Brené Brown |
6788f88
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Just because someone isn't willing or able to love us, it doesn't mean that we are unlovable.
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Brené Brown |
5b16f11
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There are too many people today who instead of feeling hurt are acting out their hurt; instead of acknowledging pain, they're inflicting pain on others. Rather than risking feeling disappointed, they're choosing to live disappointed. Emotional stoicism is not badassery. Blustery posturing is not badassery. Swagger is not badassery. Perfection is about the furthest thing in the world from badassery.
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Brené Brown |
a488ec4
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Here's what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now, not if, not when, we're worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.
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Brené Brown |
1a54f65
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True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.
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Brené Brown |
dde696f
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Compassion is not a virtue -- it is a commitment. It's not something we have or don't have -- it's something we choose to practice.
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virtue
compassion
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Brené Brown |
0b9593e
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E.E Cummings wrote, "To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody but yourself - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight- and never stop fighting."
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Brené Brown |
79df66e
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Wholeheartedness. There are many tenets of Wholeheartedness, but at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness; facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough.
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Brené Brown |
dcdc88f
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I've found what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults.
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courage
parenting
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Brené Brown |
5c69d13
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I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let's think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment's notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow--that's vulnerability.
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inspirational
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Brené Brown |
87cf925
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I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can't have both. Not at the same time. Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage.
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Brené Brown |
6fee478
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Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.
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inspirational
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Brené Brown |
eaad675
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Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it's a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.
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Brené Brown |
2d49dff
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Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
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inspirational
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Brené Brown |
69220d7
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Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.
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inspirational-attitude
parenting
self-help
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Brené Brown |
c2467b0
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Steve said, "I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be." His answer felt like truth to me. Not an easy truth, but truth."
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Brené Brown |
4cc49a6
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To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.
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Brené Brown |
b98d9cb
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We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it's dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying.
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Brené Brown |
40bc7ef
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The opposite of recognizing that we're feeling something is denying our emotions. The opposite of being curious is disengaging. When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don't go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending--to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is m..
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Brené Brown |
460c304
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Worrying about scarcity is our culture's version of post-traumatic stress. It happens when we've been through too much, and rather than coming together to heal (which requires vulnerability) we're angry and scared and at each other's throats.
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scarcity
society
stress
vulnerability
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Brené Brown |
a2ba633
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Cruelty is easy, cheap and rampant.
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life
cruelty
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Brene Brown |
3d98197
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Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.
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be-yourself
courage-to-be-imperfect
love
inspirational
belonging
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Brené Brown |
c3759ed
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Hope is a function of struggle.
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Brené Brown |
baa7e1e
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No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to us because they believe in our capacity to know our darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.
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empathy
vulnerability
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Brené Brown |
de7c61a
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To become fully human means learning to turn my gratitude for being alive into some concrete common good. It means growing gentler toward human weakness. It means practicing forgiveness of my and everyone else's hourly failures to live up to divine standards. It means learning to forget myself on a regular basis in order to attend to the other selves in my vicinity. It means living so that "I'm only human" does not become an excuse for anyt..
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Brené Brown |
f941920
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Courage is like--it's a habitus, a habit, a virtue: You get it by courageous acts. It's like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by couraging.
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Brené Brown |
54c2480
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Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.
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Brené Brown |
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We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.
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Brené Brown |
65be713
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People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.
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Brené Brown |
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sometimes when we are beating ourselves up, we need to stop and say to that harassing voice inside, "Man, I'm doing the very best I can right now." "
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Brené Brown |
fdbd521
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Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it's understanding the necessity of both; it's engaging. It's being all in.
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love
vulnerability
psychology
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Brené Brown |
2378bcd
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You are only free when you realize you belong no place--you belong every place--no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.
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Brené Brown |
4f5cdd3
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Everyone wants to know why customer service has gone to hell in a handbasket. I want to know why customer behavior has gone to hell in a handbasket.
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manners
etiquette
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Brené Brown |
de80387
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I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits.
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inspirational
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Brené Brown |
6a6121b
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Spirituality emerged as a fundamental guidepost in Wholeheartedness. Not religiosity but the deeply held belief that we are inextricably connected to one another by a force greater than ourselves--a force grounded in love and compassion. For some of us that's God, for others it's nature, art, or even human soulfulness. I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and ov..
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spirituality
vulnerability
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Brené Brown |
0d4ab5a
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Courage originally meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." --
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Brené Brown |
3031a71
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People often silence themselves, or "agree to disagree" without fully exploring the actual nature of the disagreement, for the sake of protecting a relationship and maintaining connection. But when we avoid certain conversations, and never fully learn how the other person feels about all of the issues, we sometimes end up making assumptions that not only perpetuate but deepen misunderstandings, and that can generate resentment."
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understanding
courage
disagreement
conflict
vulnerability
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Brené Brown |
d070e5e
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We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.
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growth
shame
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Brené Brown |
e81c5ee
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Hope is not an emotion; it's a way of thinking or a cognitive process.
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Brené Brown |
212dcba
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When the culture of any organization mandates that it is more important to protect the reputation of a system and those in power than it is to protect the basic human dignity of the individuals who serve that system or who are served by that system, you can be certain that the shame is systemic, the money is driving ethics, and the accountability is all but dead.
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Brené Brown |
5854e60
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Perfectionism is self destructive simply because there's no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.
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Brené Brown |
6af5bf7
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C. S. Lewis captured this so beautifully in one of my favorite quotes of all time: To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in th..
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Brené Brown |
dee1fde
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We don't have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.
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Brené Brown |