|
3e7106a
|
Character--the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life--is the source from which self-respect springs. --Joan Didion
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
04db951
|
To begin by always thinking of love as an action rather than a feeling is one way in which anyone using the word in this manner automatically assumes accountability and responsibility. -- BELL HOOKS1
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
87a30b5
|
The simple and honest process of letting people know that discomfort is normal, it's going to happen, why it happens, and why it's important, reduces anxiety, fear, and shame. Periods
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
716fd04
|
Technology, for instance, has become a kind of imposter for connection, making us believe we're connected when we're really not--at least not in the ways we need to be.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
a5afa69
|
Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
8674281
|
There is an incredibly important, uncomfortable, and brave discussion that every single leader and every organization in the world should be having about privilege.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
a1569a0
|
What I've learned through my work and what I heard that night in Newtown makes one thing clear: Not enough of us know how to sit in pain with others. Worse, our discomfort shows up in ways that can hurt people and reinforce their isolation. I have started to believe that crying with strangers in person could save the world.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
36e4aca
|
But there's no equation where taking risks, braving uncertainty, and opening ourselves up to emotional exposure equals weakness.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
7fc7f33
|
If you're comfortable, I'm not teaching and you're not learning.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
720f5be
|
The majority of shame researchers agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between "I am bad" (shame) and "I did something bad" (guilt). Shame is about who we are and guilt is about our behaviors."
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
8a6f6b0
|
On page 145, I defined belonging as the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. One of the biggest surprises in this research was learning that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn't require us to change who we ..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
cbbafd9
|
are certainly other causes of illness, numbing, and hurt, but the absence of love and belonging will always lead to suffering.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
045f938
|
Killing Us Softly 4,6 and Katz's DVD is titled Tough Guise: Violence, Media, and the Crisis in Masculinity.7) As
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
689396e
|
Experience and success don't give you easy passage through the middle space of struggle. They only grant you a little grace, a grace that whispers, "This is part of the process. Stay the course." Experience doesn't create even a single spark of light in the darkness of the middle space. It only instills in you a little bit of faith in your ability to navigate the dark. The middle is messy, but it's also where the magic happens."
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
3842479
|
Belonging so fully to yourself that you're willing to stand alone is a wilderness--an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
c07adf3
|
I Wholeheartedly believe that when we are fully engaged in parenting, regardless of how imperfect, vulnerable, and messy it is, we are creating something sacred.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
b1bbf8c
|
Perfectionism didn't lead to results. It led to peanut butter.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
ddf6552
|
THE phrase Daring Greatly is from Theodore Roosevelt's speech "Citizenship in a Republic." The speech, sometimes referred to as "The Man in the Arena," was delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910. This is the passage that made the speech famous: "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man ..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
70b3b96
|
Children who use more shame self-talk (I am bad) versus guilt self-talk (I did something bad) struggle mightily with issues of self-worth and self-loathing. Using shame to parent teaches children that they are not inherently worthy of love. Shame
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
4d53b2e
|
The shield required that I stay small and quiet behind it so as not to draw attention to my imperfections and vulnerabilities. It was exhausting.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
8c4e45f
|
One of the most profound responses to this exercise came out of a focus group I did with a group of leaders at West Point. One officer pushed me a little on "the accuracy of the intel" and kept asking, "You are 100 percent certain that this person is doing the best he can?" After I answered yes two or three times, the officer took a deep breath and said, "Then move the rock." I was confused. "What do you mean by 'move the rock'?" He shook h..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
6b4fc38
|
Personally, I have learned that when I'm experiencing shame, I often act out in ways that are inconsistent with who I want to be.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
cc843d1
|
The four elements of shame resilience: Name it. Talk about it. Own your story. Tell the story.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
81c82f7
|
The gap starts here: We can't give people what we don't have. Who we are matters immeasurably more than what we know or who we want to be.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
088851e
|
Until we can tolerate vulnerability and transform it into gratitude, intense feelings of love will often bring up the fear of loss.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
af09be4
|
Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness. Happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you're lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
ad33930
|
We move what we're learning from our heads to our hearts through our hands.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
7936345
|
We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we're afraid to let them see it in us.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
113892a
|
Judging has become such a part of our thinking patterns that we are rarely even aware of why and how we do it. It takes a great deal of conscious thinking or mindfulness to even bring the habit of judging into our awareness.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
064be8b
|
I've learned enough about privilege to know that we're at our most dangerous when we think we've learned everything we need to know about it. That's when you stop paying attention to injustice. And make no mistake, not paying attention because you're not the one getting harassed or fired or pulled over or underpaid is the definition of privilege.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
09faee0
|
Yes, there can be no innovation, learning, or creativity without failure. But failing is painful. It fuels the "shouldas and couldas," which means judgment and shame are often lying in wait"
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
6406956
|
build a culture of trust.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
feff850
|
I'm learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace. I'm also learning that the uncomfortable and scary leaning requires both spirit and resilience.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
55ce004
|
Another great example of the power of vulnerability -- this time in a corporation -- is the leadership approach taken by Lululemon's CEO, Christine Day. In a video interview with CNN Money, Day explained that she was once a very bright, smart executive who "majored in being right." Her transformation came when she realized that getting people to engage and take ownership wasn't about "the teling" but about letting them come into the idea in..
|
|
leadership
vulnerability
|
Brené Brown |
|
0a6b650
|
If we can learn how to feel our way through these experiences and own our stories of struggle, we can write our own brave endings. When we own our stories, we avoid being trapped as characters in stories someone else is telling.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
87c75c6
|
The most difficult part of our stories is often what we bring to them--what we make up about who we are and how we are perceived by others. Yes, maybe we lost our job or screwed up a project, but what makes that story so painful is what we tell ourselves about our own self-worth and value.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
fb376d1
|
Rumbling with Trust Trust--in ourselves and in others--is often the first casualty in a fall, and stories of shattered trust can render us speechless with hurt or send us into a defensive silence. Maybe someone betrayed us or let us down, or our own judgment led us astray. How could I have been so stupid and naive? Did I miss the warning signs? If I've learned anything in my research, it's that trust can't be hot-wired, whether it's between..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
6205384
|
We invite compassion into our lives when we act compassionately toward ourselves and others, and we feel connected in our lives when we reach out and connect.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
9061b8e
|
Conspiracy thinking is all about fear-based self-protection and our intolerance for uncertainty. When we depend on self-protecting narratives often enough, they become our default stories
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
f46639c
|
Children who use more shame self-talk (I am bad) versus guilt self-talk (I did something bad) struggle mightily with issues of self-worth and self-loathing. Using shame to parent teaches children that they are not inherently worthy of love.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
6e11c9c
|
People Are Hard to Hate Close Up. Move In. 2. Speak Truth to Bullshit. Be Civil. 3. Hold Hands. With Strangers. 4. Strong Back. Soft Front. Wild Heart.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
576ee12
|
Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
ebe1c54
|
Guilt and shame are both emotions of self-evaluation; however, that is where the similarities end. The majority of shame researchers agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between "I am bad" (shame) and "I did something bad" (guilt). Shame is about who we are and guilt is about our behaviors. If I feel guilty for cheating on a test, my self-talk might sound something like "I should not have d..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
57a93d2
|
Cultivating intuition and trusting faith: letting go of the need for certainty 6. Cultivating creativity: letting go of comparison 7. Cultivating play and rest: letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth 8. Cultivating calm and stillness: letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle 9. Cultivating meaningful work: letting go of self-doubt and "supposed to" 10. Cultivating laughter, song, and dance: letting go of bein..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |