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4701886 The Universe is very, very big. It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules. Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever. Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when someone says that their love will never die, it means that their love is not real, for everything that is real dies. Rule number two: Everything lasts forever. universe time love infinity paradox forever Craig Ferguson
56dd826 Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven't touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now. I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane. money drinking heartbreak alcoholism insane mental-illness Craig Ferguson
8be20dc I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's. life parents Craig Ferguson
68eb5f4 maybe fear is God's way of saying, "Pay attention, this could be fun." Craig Ferguson
565671d I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure. Craig Ferguson
05bda9d He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't. success glory failure Craig Ferguson
f4f6296 Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover. pathology rehab disease recovery Craig Ferguson
cf8e019 Its hard to stay up. Its been a long long day And you've got the sandman at your door. But hang on, leave the TV on and lets do it anyway. Its ok. You can always sleep through work tomorrow. Ok? Hey, Hey, Tomorrow's just your future yesterday. Tell the clock on the wall, "Forget the wake up call." Cause the night's not nearly through. Wipe the sleep from your eyes. Give yourself a surprise. Let your worries wait another day. And if you st.. sleep work tv theme Craig Ferguson
126904f Twas the night before Thanksgiving. poem poetry thanksgiving masturbation Craig Ferguson
d13e1a2 I'm always a bit shy around evil people... Craig Ferguson
13fb2cc Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape. writing control Craig Ferguson
fdd4111 I told her that I didn't want to take any drugs. That I had come here not to take drugs. "Listen," she said, not unkindly, "up until now I would say that ninety-nine percent of all the narcotics you have taken in your life you bought from guys you didn't know, in bathrooms or on street corners, something like that. Correct?" I nodded. "Well these guys could have been selling you salt or strychnine. They didn't care. They wanted your money... rehab drugs Craig Ferguson
a1d02a0 Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled. life-lessons Craig Ferguson
96fcc6e Gillette--The best a man can get." I stared at the screen. What happened to me? I was meant to be one of those guys, vigorous and athletic and successful and, most of all, American. I was going to walk on the moon, be a movie star or a rock got or a comedian. I was going to have an amazing life and kids with Helen and die like Chaplin a thousand years from now in my Beverly Hills mansion surrounded by my adoring family, with the grieving wo.. love contemplation rehab realization Craig Ferguson
14b5648 On that same tour we ran into a band at Aylesbury Friars, a biggish venue in Oxfordshire, England. They were a four-piece from Ireland called U2. They seemed like nice fellows and they sounded pretty good, but we didn't keep in touch. They're probably taxi drivers and accountants by now. music humor Craig Ferguson
0908b4e Ros was dead. He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining; he was the first of my friends to fall. friendship drugs heroin Craig Ferguson
fc0c248 From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong? humor rock-and-roll Craig Ferguson
d3aceb6 Fraser's mother, Janice, was actually quite a happy soul but she had to hide it because, like all pseudo intellectuals, she thought being cheery made her look stupid, which of course she was for believing that rubbish in the first place. She like to talk about Sartre sometimes, just as insurance. Craig Ferguson
c691ea6 It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew? sober alcohol drunk Craig Ferguson
46fc12f I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves. comfort rehab recovery Craig Ferguson
fa228bc School did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, though. I learned how to read, and for that I remain thankful. I would have died otherwise. As soon as I was able, I read, alone. Under the covers with a flashlight or in my corner of the attic--I sought solace in books. It was from books that I started to get an inkling of the kinds of assholes I was dealing with. I found allies too, in books, characters my age who were going through.. reading books read Craig Ferguson
1179fa7 For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you the world. Have fun blowing it up. Craig Ferguson
a90a083 That's why I believe in a Constitution which separates church from state. I've seen what happens when they get in cahoots. Craig Ferguson
5d132e4 WHITE AMERICANS HAVE A VERY UNUSUAL SENSE OF HISTORY. They make it up as they go along, constantly revising to suit their tastes in a manner that would make Stalin blush. Very few of them saw any irony in the fact that during a recent nasty Balkans conflict, when Uncle Sam intervened to stop the Serbs from ethnically cleansing the Bosnians, the military action was performed using Apache helicopter gunships. Helicopters named after a people .. Craig Ferguson
f9c0e6e This story is true. Of course, there are many lies therein and most of it did not happen, but it's all true. In that sense it is deeply religious, perhaps even biblical. Craig Ferguson
dc452a1 Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. man laws right-and-wrong rules Craig Ferguson
85b5ed8 The Bible has been through at least half a dozen translations by the time you read it. Plus, when the word of God is infected by the hand of man, that is, written down, it is tainted. man god infection word-of-god translation Craig Ferguson
2de1ec2 He was in awe of the thirst that people had for someone to tell them that everything was going to be all right. He marveled at the gullibility and vulnerability of his fellow humans. No wonder the churches called them sheep. They were woolly-headed pack animals being herded around for the benefit of whoever knew how to control the dogs. humanity religion sheep gullibility power Craig Ferguson
87957f7 I found out it is just as hard to make a movie that you are not proud of as it is to make one you love. work love effort pride Craig Ferguson
7c33081 If you can't trust, you can't be trustworthy. Craig Ferguson
019617a Those unexpected morality lessons provided by the trip had jolted me into some kind of action. It was time to jettison the past before the present jettisoned me. This was my first veiled attempt at recovery. Although perhaps I was just running away again. I returned to Glasgow, planning to say a final goodbye to Anne and get out of her life, but ended up drinking with buddies in the Chip Bar and never seeing her. I called her instead to say.. divorce goodbye Craig Ferguson
4719736 America truly is the best idea for a country that anyone has ever come up with so far. Not only because we value democracy and the rights of the individual, but because we are always our own most effective voice of descent....We must never mistake disagreement between Americans on political or moral issues to be an indication of their level of patriotism. If you don't like what I say or don't agree with where I stand on certain issues, then.. inspirational patriotism Craig Ferguson
eb28b10 It never occurred to them that God may have provided the world with a vast array of very brainy medical types for the very reason of solving problems such as theirs. However, there is one thing that the medical profession cannot do and that is save people from being idiots. illness pain god medical-establishment doctors Craig Ferguson
fd3c002 I took the sleeper out of Glasgow, and as the smelly old train bumped out of Central Station and across the Jamaica Street Bridge, I stared out at the orange halogen streetlamps reflected in the black water of the river Clyde. I gazed at the crumbling Victorian buildings that would soon be sandblasted and renovated into yuppie hutches. I watched the revelers and rascals traverse the shiny wet streets. I thought of the thrill and danger of m.. divorce reflection danger failure journey Craig Ferguson
2a61a99 I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not yet attacked me. feat visions-hallucinations Craig Ferguson
99e328f Time is only linear for engineers and referees. time relativity Craig Ferguson
1084ebc For example, in Paris, if one desires to buy something, you enter the store and say "Good morning, sir" or "madam," depending on what is appropriate, you wait until you are greeted, you make polite chitchat about the weather or some such, and when the salesperson asks what they can do for you, then and only then do you bring up the vulgar business of the transaction you require." manners paris Craig Ferguson
f77840a Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but doesn't do much for your ego. Its probably a little like getting alimony-the money is nice but has a nasty aftertaste. money tv Craig Ferguson
ba210ad After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock. writing Craig Ferguson
e4b4a34 I didn't flee a dictator or swim an ocean to be an American like some do. I just thought long and hard about it. citizenship thought Craig Ferguson
1878e66 Violence of any kind, once it starts, is like fucking a gorilla-you ain't done till the gorilla's done. Craig Ferguson
607f389 Craig: 'When I used to drink, I binge drank...and I'm kind of like that with Doctor Who. I save up a lot of it on the DVR and then like I get my big scarf on and my hat and I stay at home and just watch them.' humor Craig Ferguson
37b6670 The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those-maybe everyone-who trips on acid, never really came back. he recovered but he was never the same guy again. He had lost something-innocence of hell. Acid presses a little button in your mind that should never be pressed acid-trips drugs Craig Ferguson
dffd8ba The clocks understood, they kept moving, motion, following the truth that change is the nature of God's mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain. god clocks Craig Ferguson
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