183113c
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Eventually we all have to accept full and total responsibility for our actions, everything we have done, and have not done.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
a8b357d
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But you cant shut everyone out. I mean you have to have someone to love. . .someone to hold on to. . . someone--
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trying
love
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
c068157
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I suspect there will never be a requiem for a dream, simply because it will destroy us before we have the opportunity to mourn it's passing.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
07b5c1e
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The voice so filled with nostalgia that you could almost see the memories floating through the blue smoke, memories not only of music and joy and youth, but perhaps, of dreams. They listened to the music, each hearing it in his own way, feeling relaxed and a part of the music, a part of each other, and almost a part of the world.
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youth
joy
comfort
music
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
63be8a0
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There's a sorrow and pain in everyone's life, but every now and then there's a ray of light that melts the loneliness in your heart and brings comfort like hot soup and a soft bed.
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loneliness
pain
light
sorrow
life
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
14cbaa3
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For weeks Tyrone thought he was going to die any minute, and there were also times when he was afraid he wasnt going to die.
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suicide
desperation
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
895bcf0
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There was a sky somewhere above the tops of the buildings, with stars and a moon and all the things there are in a sky, but they were content to think of the distant street lights as planets and stars. If the lights prevented you from seeing the heavens, then preform a little magic and change reality to fit the need. The street lights were now planets and stars and moon.
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stars
reality
night
city
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
7c0022e
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Life was not longer something to endure, but to live.
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life
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
be8b19b
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and the night was comfortably warm as the soft filtered light continued to push the darkness into the shadows as they held each other and kissed and pushed each others darkness into the corner, believing in each others light, each others dream.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
f487cfd
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He didnt know what was defeating him, but he sensed it was something he could not cope with, something that was far beyond his power to control or even at this point in time comprehend.
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defeat
tiredness
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
68ddb73
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i think thats one of the problems with the world today, nobody knows who they are. everyone is running around looking for an identity, or trying to borrow one, only they dont know it. they actually think they know who they are and hat they are? theyre just a bunch of schleppers...who have no idea what a search for personal truth and identity really is, which would be alright if they didn't get in your way, but they insist that they know eve..
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
d5eaf46
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But to believe that getting stuff is the purpose and aim of life is madness.
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work
life
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
09c2ced
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Sometimes it seems to stand still. Like you're in a bag and you can't get out and somebody's always telling you that it will get better with time and time just seems to stand still and laugh at you and your pain.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
b91cf5e
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They held each other and kissed and pushed each others' darkness into the corner, believing in each others' light, each others' dream.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
d14110d
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All the energy of their frustration and fear going into their laughter.
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laughter
frustration
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
da6a48b
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They luxuriated in the feeling of deep and all pervading satisfaction, a feeling of knowing absolutely that all was well with the world and them and that the world was not only their oyster it was also their linguine with clam sauce. Not only were all things possible, but all things were theirs.
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satisfaction
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
2d58353
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thats why you cant be worried about the world. theyll just do you in anyway. you can't depend on them because sooner or later theyll turn on you or just disapear and leave you there alone.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
89a68c5
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He took another drink, licked his lips and leaned back with his eyes closed for a minute, listening. Marion closed her eyes and just leaned against his chest, feeling the weight and security of his arm around her, moving her toes slightly in time to the music. That last hash and the chartreuse really did it. She felt fine. She felt warm. She felt at home. Trane had just finished a chorus and the piano player came in and Marion muttered a so..
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
fd6e516
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high spirits and overflowing joy making the absence of love known.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
73ebc8b
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Why did you start to write? I left at 15.. I started to write becase I was taken off a ship from Germany when I was 18. They said I wouldn't live for 6 months. I'd been given up for dead many times and I just didn't want to waste my life. I had what I now realize was a spiritual experience. I realized that I would die, and that just before I would die, two things would happen. number one, I would regret my entire life. and number two, I wou..
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
15a3fcc
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and he just sat back and stared at the tube, almost interested in what was happening, trying to find the ability to believe in that lie so he could believe the one within.
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television
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
2dcfbc9
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However they may have felt when they left they were now committed, they had passed the point of no return.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
a7a85e5
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No matter how beautiful the outside may be, the inside still has feelings and needs that just words don't fulfill.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
7f6e76d
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The bodies went back in the doors and bars and the heads in the windows. The cops drove away and Freddy and the guys went back into the Greeks and the street was quiet, just the sound of a tug and an occasional car; and even the blood couldn't be seen from a few feet away.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
062af0e
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That's why you can't be worried about the world. They'll just do you in anyway. You can't depend on them because sooner or later they'll turn on you or just disappear and leave you there alone.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
5b22011
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This guy is different. I see him once in a while and we have fun and theres no pressure. We just have a good time. And he still writes for tranks and downers. A couple of weeks ago we flew down to the Virgin Islands for a weekend. It was a ball. Hey, crazy. Sounds great. Yeah. So your folks are still footin the bills, tilting his head toward the rest of the apartment, for the pad and so forth? Yeah. She laughed out loud again, Plus the fift..
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
bf6ebcc
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Marion fought back the urge to shove the candle in his face and did her best to broaden her smile...
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
1330d88
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What the hell is this? Station after station, talk, talk, talk about the devil and the liberal democrats, what??? They still looking for communists? I dont believe this shit. Give me an amen and thank you jesus...whats with these people? This whole world is one big trailer park. They hate everybody. If theyre not hanging 'gays' they are hanging 'feminists', oh thank god for an 'off' button. Krist, my heart is pounding. Where am I? This cant..
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
8fd7cc6
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They luxuriated in the feeling of deep and all pervading satisfaction, a feeling of knowing absolutely that all was well with the world...Not only were all things possible, but all things were theirs.
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perfection
psychological
feelings
satisfaction
life-lessons
life
love
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
39a5264
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and yet there was not a definable thought in his mind. Only a terrifying effort to get from one side of a match box to another.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
d44e265
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Time has to pass. But sometimes its so goddamn long. Sometimes it just seems to drag and drag and weigh a ton. And hang on you like a monkey. Like its going to suck the blood out of you. Or squeeze your guts out. And sometimes it flies. And is gone somewhere, somehow, before you know it was even here. As if time is only here to make you miserable. That's the only reason for time. To squeeze you. Crush you. To tie you up in knots and make yo..
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
53a0e1e
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The enemy ate away at their will so they could not resist, their bodies not only craving, but needing the very poison that ground them into that pitiable state of being; the mind diseased and crippled by the enemy it was obsessed with and the obsession and terrible physical need corrupting the soul until the actions were less than those of an animal, less than those of a wounded animal, less than those of anything and everything they did no..
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
8e785fb
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They came close. Oh they came close. Was all set to put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. But there was a computer glitch. Isnt that something? A stupid glitch and I had to wait a few days and then I saw the errors of my ways, saw so clearly that I was killing the wrong person. Its not me that needs killing, its them. Funny how things can change in the wink of an eye.
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suicide
killing
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
0ab1bd8
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The summer sun continued to rise in the sky and propel shocks of heat down on the city and the heavy moisture moistened bodies and clothing, and people fanned and wiped at sweating faces trying to survive another bitch of a day as Harry and Marion peacefully passed the day sleeping in each others arms oblivious to the reality surrounding them.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
87fd96a
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It's always the same--you get used to one thing, then it changes. Get used to another, and that changes. Over and over. Always the same. O well, the hell with it. It's not important anyway.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
856a7ab
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Time seemed stationary, yet the painful pressure of time was constantly felt.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
51b75ca
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It was a nice night. A pleasant evening. There seemed to be stars somewhere and it was easy to avoid stepping in the garbage and dog shit on the streets. A truly beautiful night. Tony
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
eac799a
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Harry grinned as the others laughed and took time out to take a poke on his cigarette, then rubbed the tip of his nose with the back of his hand. I should have you all locked up for interferin with religious freedom.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
6938204
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It seems to me that we all have a dream of our own, our own personal vision, our own individual way of giving, but for many reasons we are afraid to pursue it, or to even recognize and accept its existence. But to deny our vision is to sell our soul.
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
b59a8ec
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I have joined an ancient fraternity. I have killed a man.
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murder
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
21c03be
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In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5,6
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
7df83b5
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Help me. Please, help me. If you really exist, you skinny jew bastard, help me kill myself.
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suicide
jesus
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
0732bf6
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she gradually became aware of how dumb the damn show was she was watching and she stared at it, wondering how in the hell they could put anything so absurdly infantile and intellectually and esthetically insulting on television, and she started asking herself over and over how they could do it, what kind of nonsense this is, and she continued to stare and shake her head, more and more of her mind being absorbed by the absurdity she was watc..
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Hubert Selby Jr. |
7450cea
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There was a sky somewhere above the tops of the buildings, with stars and a moon and all the things there are in the sky, but they were content to think of the distant street lights as planets and stars
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Hubert Selby Jr. |