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ee9cfce And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman. Jerry Seinfeld
2ea35c6 The funniest part of that joke is, 'say what you will about Hitler'. Jerry Seinfeld
13ded04 Every other man is looking great saint after marriage. Jerry Seinfeld
35d19bd Of course we all try and save time. Cutting corners, little short cuts. But no matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there's no extra time saved up. You'll be going "what do you mean there's no time?" Jerry Seinfeld
376cbcd Stand-up is what I am. Jerry Seinfeld
4dc67f2 The fact is: almost everything is funny. You just have to have a way of looking at it. Jerry Seinfeld
2487362 The word "pet peeve" is one of my biggest pet peeves, to tell you the truth. Jerry Seinfeld
15875cf When you want to enjoy something, you must never let logic get too much in the way. Jerry Seinfeld
b3e41b0 All dads dress in the style of the last good year of their lives. Jerry Seinfeld
a31a6fc When I go to see somebody work, I don't want to see your "new hour". I want to see the act! Jerry Seinfeld
c6e8377 Really good bits go deep into your head and keep comin' back. Jerry Seinfeld
03e5100 You can't be the one who decides why you like something. It doesn't matter! Jerry Seinfeld
64ac509 I think that comedy is the be-all and end-all. Jerry Seinfeld
cc1432c One of the things that the comedian mindset requires is laziness. Jerry Seinfeld
547fc00 Fear is funny. Especially when it's not fake! Jerry Seinfeld
8f4aeed All human endeavor is killing time. All of it. Jerry Seinfeld
e812ae5 Most things that are weird are not "weird good". Jerry Seinfeld
9e113fd I like that [obituaries] boil the whole guy's life down to "Invented the ballpoint-pen spring". Jerry Seinfeld
d9ed8c3 The comedy brain] picks up so much, except a lot of basic stuff that you need. Jerry Seinfeld
547eb0d God has no rhyme or reason to who he gives a sense of humor to. Jerry Seinfeld
c726a62 I've figured out that the "non-event" is the best part of life. Jerry Seinfeld
c37f52f The comedy universe is a swamp of madness. Jerry Seinfeld
c5a29aa I don't think comedy has changed, and it never will change. Jerry Seinfeld
257604b It really speaks to how bad [American] food is, that it's work. Jerry Seinfeld
4a5e429 The truth ends every conversation. Jerry Seinfeld
434a255 I don't know why people always assume that the guest is more interesting than the host. Jerry Seinfeld
d76acf8 Comedians have such an intense allergy to pretension. Jerry Seinfeld
1d24462 I don't think I felt "at home" on Earth, as a human, until I walked into a comedy club. Jerry Seinfeld
11a2a08 Comedy is more personal than food. Jerry Seinfeld
abc8693 Never try and make a comedian laugh with one of his own jokes. Jerry Seinfeld
654f7b9 I still think everything has its life cycle and if you respect it, people enjoy it longer. Jerry Seinfeld
a4934f4 Larry and I] never obsess over anything that isn't mundane. Jerry Seinfeld
e1a1ade Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work. Jerry Seinfeld
f00f39a I would say that I am 90% serious in my day. Comedy is no joke. Jerry Seinfeld
cee5d21 Stand-up is a very scientific and very exhaustive study of the human experience. Jerry Seinfeld
e3b7890 No. Books take a long time, and I don't get to hear the laughs. Jerry Seinfeld
2289e5b A cat is a small sneaky animal that manages to get by without any real relationships. Jerry Seinfeld
159c7b7 We are a hopeful species. Stupid, but hopeful. Jerry Seinfeld
10a400a If your things don't make you happy, you're not getting the right things! Jerry Seinfeld
8511b0e Funniest" is completely personal. Whoever you think is funniest, is funniest. Jerry Seinfeld
1c53332 Learning to be a writer is the delta of success and failure in comedy. Jerry Seinfeld
0bc5a72 Great steering is, to me, the essence of the automotive experience. Jerry Seinfeld
32c07a6 Most comedians do not relate to cars. I don't know why. Jerry Seinfeld
1f3dd96 Stand-up comedy] is the ultimate democracy. The laugh is the vote. Jerry Seinfeld