ee9cfce
|
And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
2ea35c6
|
The funniest part of that joke is, 'say what you will about Hitler'.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
13ded04
|
Every other man is looking great saint after marriage.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
35d19bd
|
Of course we all try and save time. Cutting corners, little short cuts. But no matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there's no extra time saved up. You'll be going "what do you mean there's no time?"
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
376cbcd
|
Stand-up is what I am.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
4dc67f2
|
The fact is: almost everything is funny. You just have to have a way of looking at it.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
2487362
|
The word "pet peeve" is one of my biggest pet peeves, to tell you the truth.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
15875cf
|
When you want to enjoy something, you must never let logic get too much in the way.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
b3e41b0
|
All dads dress in the style of the last good year of their lives.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
a31a6fc
|
When I go to see somebody work, I don't want to see your "new hour". I want to see the act!
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
c6e8377
|
Really good bits go deep into your head and keep comin' back.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
03e5100
|
You can't be the one who decides why you like something. It doesn't matter!
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
64ac509
|
I think that comedy is the be-all and end-all.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
cc1432c
|
One of the things that the comedian mindset requires is laziness.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
547fc00
|
Fear is funny. Especially when it's not fake!
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
8f4aeed
|
All human endeavor is killing time. All of it.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
e812ae5
|
Most things that are weird are not "weird good".
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
9e113fd
|
I like that [obituaries] boil the whole guy's life down to "Invented the ballpoint-pen spring".
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
d9ed8c3
|
The comedy brain] picks up so much, except a lot of basic stuff that you need.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
547eb0d
|
God has no rhyme or reason to who he gives a sense of humor to.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
c726a62
|
I've figured out that the "non-event" is the best part of life.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
c37f52f
|
The comedy universe is a swamp of madness.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
c5a29aa
|
I don't think comedy has changed, and it never will change.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
257604b
|
It really speaks to how bad [American] food is, that it's work.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
4a5e429
|
The truth ends every conversation.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
434a255
|
I don't know why people always assume that the guest is more interesting than the host.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
d76acf8
|
Comedians have such an intense allergy to pretension.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
1d24462
|
I don't think I felt "at home" on Earth, as a human, until I walked into a comedy club.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
11a2a08
|
Comedy is more personal than food.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
abc8693
|
Never try and make a comedian laugh with one of his own jokes.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
654f7b9
|
I still think everything has its life cycle and if you respect it, people enjoy it longer.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
a4934f4
|
Larry and I] never obsess over anything that isn't mundane.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
e1a1ade
|
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
f00f39a
|
I would say that I am 90% serious in my day. Comedy is no joke.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
cee5d21
|
Stand-up is a very scientific and very exhaustive study of the human experience.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
e3b7890
|
No. Books take a long time, and I don't get to hear the laughs.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
2289e5b
|
A cat is a small sneaky animal that manages to get by without any real relationships.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
159c7b7
|
We are a hopeful species. Stupid, but hopeful.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
10a400a
|
If your things don't make you happy, you're not getting the right things!
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
8511b0e
|
Funniest" is completely personal. Whoever you think is funniest, is funniest.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
1c53332
|
Learning to be a writer is the delta of success and failure in comedy.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
0bc5a72
|
Great steering is, to me, the essence of the automotive experience.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
32c07a6
|
Most comedians do not relate to cars. I don't know why.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |
1f3dd96
|
Stand-up comedy] is the ultimate democracy. The laugh is the vote.
|
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld |