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fd7d253
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There are different ways to be confused about how someone's disappointed you. Some lie about the future because they wanted to forget the past. But some will lie about the past because they think it will give you both a future.
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lies
love
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Laura Dave |
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8596cc6
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These things...they are who you are. They brought you here. To this day. You didn't give me a chance to understand that ever the unattractive parts of you, the messy parts, were something I could accept.
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past
love
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Laura Dave |
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a2b6be4
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I couldn't help but wonder if that was what love was -- believing that someone was going to come through, in the end, and that it would still count
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Laura Dave |
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0a1616a
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Josh had told me a long time ago that he had this theory that an entire relationship was based on what occurred over the course of the first five minutes you know each other. That everything that came after those first minutes was just details being filled in. Meaning: you already knew how deep the love was, how instinctually you felt about someone. What happened in their first five minutes? Time stopped.
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time
love
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Laura Dave |
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a9f593e
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Why does it take fear to move you? Why does it take chaos to make us understand exactly what we need to do?
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love
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Laura Dave |
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dacad44
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You can't finish the things you weren't supposed to start.
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Laura Dave |
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263f444
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Belief isn't supposed to make sense, at least not all the time. In that, it finds its power. It gets to creep up on you and carry you forward. Until you can carry yourself again.
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inspiration
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Laura Dave |
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e0c9e04
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There is a moment in every relationship when you see the whole thing. The question is when does the moment come? Is it the first time you see the person and instinctively know that things between you are going to work out, or fail? Or is it a moment toward the end, however you get there, when you realize that there is something behind this persons eyes that you were never able to touch, no matter how hard you tried?
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Laura Dave |
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7f14db9
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I'm not sure we get to choose when or where we find what we're looking for.
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Laura Dave |
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dd1b416
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It's harder to appreciate what you don't have to look hard to find.
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Laura Dave |
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d12b85c
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You have to grow about eight hundred grapes to get just one bottle of wine. If that isn't an argument to finish the bottle, I don't know what is. --Anonymous
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Laura Dave |
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40b3e39
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The part where you need to choose among the choices that are there, and not the ones that aren't there anymore. At least not how you need them to be. You're still stuck on some imaginary idea you have of how it could have been. You need to think about how it is now. And how you want it to be.
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Laura Dave |
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fcf140f
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We loved each other in the same difficult, unusable way where you took turns doing it, instead of ever managing to do it at the same time.
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Laura Dave |
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5c534b2
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Even if things didn't always go the way they should, sometimes they went exactly where they needed to.
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Laura Dave |
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b98682f
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Why could we say more to each other when it counted less?
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Laura Dave |
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04bbdd9
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This is the painful part. Love doesn't leave you. Not all at once. It creeps back in, making you think it can be another way, that it can still be another way, and you have to remind yourself of the reasons that it probably won't be.
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Laura Dave |
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60e0a3e
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that real love comes over time, once that initial draw you're talking about takes on a different form. When you get to understand there is something more concrete between you. Something that is worth preserving...
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Laura Dave |
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63f00d3
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When everything gets messy and brutal and complicated, the truth is the first thing to go, isn't it?
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Laura Dave |
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11546ae
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maybe just once in this life someone loves us for the us we don't even know how to be yet. And if we lose him too early--in the name of all the promises in the world: a new job, a new city, an old love offering us happily ever after--we may just lose that chance to be our best self.
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Laura Dave |
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22f5248
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That's the brutality of a breakup, isn't it? The people leaving think they did everything possible, the people left behind think what is possible hasn't even been tested yet.
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Laura Dave |
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0ed1cfe
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The calm can't last, not if you're really living. if you're living fully, the storms coming to get you.
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Laura Dave |
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2ccf64d
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I don't think you get to be mad at someone unless they come through for you. I don't think you have that luxury. I think you think you can be mad, but really you're just doing something else." "What's that?" "Waiting."
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Laura Dave |
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a875cb5
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That was what I feared most: that he just wasn't excited about us anymore--that something between us had altered irreversibly. And afterward, I started seeing the evidence everywhere: in the way he didn't sleep facing me anymore, or the way he'd stopped asking me the questions he used to need to know the answers to, the way he stopped needing to tell me things in order for them to count.
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Laura Dave |
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6bada4a
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Sometimes you don't know it. What you have been waiting your whole life for. You don't know until it is happening.
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Laura Dave |
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54c611d
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When you're willing to do the work, it's amazing what can be saved.
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Laura Dave |
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8a3da9e
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But men can forget. If too much time goes by, they can forget what they have. How much they want what they have.
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Laura Dave |
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1091789
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People screw up, you know. You shouldn't hold it against them. You shouldn't expect everyone to know everything you're thinking about or not getting from them. It doesn't mean they don't love you. They screw up." -Bobby"
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Laura Dave |
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6a5d1d0
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Maybe that was just childhood? You hurry up, pick the opposite path, try to make childhood end. Then, as an adult, you have no idea why you were running away. What, exactly, you needed so desperately to get away from.
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Laura Dave |
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94602c3
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Someone's affection would give someone else freedom.
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Laura Dave |
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8018a2f
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But Eve - ow whoever comes after Eve - cant save him from eventually doing the hard work that comes after that. The work he has never wanted to do, that she spent the better part of her life trying to protect him from having to do. To jump beyond the impasses, the stuck places, to go deeper with someone. You can do the work to honor what you created, or you don't. But if you don't, you get to the same point with the next person, don't you? ..
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Laura Dave |
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b43ac17
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If things were eventually going to work out, did it matter how you got there? Didn't it ultimately just matter that you got the ending you wanted?
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Laura Dave |
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7783f24
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Where do we go from here? I started off this crazy weekend by trying to make sense of these moments--these moments that you know you're going to remember--but like anything else, nothing exists without its opposite. So maybe it makes a certain kind of sense that I ended up thinking about the moments you know you'll forget. Or, more accurately, try to remember incorrectly. How do we all learn how to do that? Relive something again and again ..
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Laura Dave |
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41b58f3
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Even now, after Nick had caused me pain, the truth was I didn't want to cause him any. Wasn't that love, after all?
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Laura Dave |
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cdc7586
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why people travel far from home-far from where they started. There was, of course, the obvious reason:escape. Escape from the monotony of every day. SO many of us chasing what we wished our everyday existence could be instead. But there was a less obvious and perhaps more important reason. Somewhere, often right in the middle of a trip, you got to believe this was your everyday life. You got to believe you were never going home again.
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Laura Dave |
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d3fa93a
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A small, inexplicable part of me was scared, right from the start - of counting on someone, of trusting that he'd always be there for me - as much it was exactly what another part of me wanted.
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Laura Dave |
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62dc667
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knew each other in that honest, unmitigated way that people get to know you who meet you when you're still young. Before all the rest of it. Before it becomes both easier and harder to know yourself.
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Laura Dave |
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63f5b03
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What I'm trying to say is that it will be okay between you and Nate. Because you both want that. Because you both want that more than anything. It sounds simple, but I'm learning that the problems start when you want different things
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marriage
relationships
motivation
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Laura Dave |
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1d9c045
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I just think people forget what it feels like to really be in love, you know? Like when that's the only thing in the world that matters. I just don't want to decide it's not that important.
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Laura Dave |
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fdb57c9
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But it is an amazing thing to be with someone who really sees you" -Jen"
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Laura Dave |
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866428f
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Love doesn't leave you. Not all at once. It creeps back in, making you think it can be another way, that it can still be another way, and you have to remind yourself of the reasons that it probably won't be.
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heartbreak
love
divorce
heartache
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Laura Dave |
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9845142
|
It seemed to me that the universe was tricky that way--as soon as you didn't need something as badly, as soon as you hold onto the hope of it less tightly, you get a second shot at it.
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Laura Dave |
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4eee391
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It seemed to me that the universe was tricky that way-as soon as you didn't need something as badly, as soon as you hold onto the hope of it less tightly, you get a second shot at it.
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Laura Dave |
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08ef7d3
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. --Groucho Marx
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Laura Dave |
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d066c26
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You have something you want to do. Something you like to do. Something you're good at. Why don't we start with that? Why don't you let that be the entire plan for now?
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Laura Dave |