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8021c98
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Children are a burden to a mother, but not the way a heavy box is to a mule. Our children weight hard on my heart, and thinking about them growing up honest and healthy, or just living to grow up at all, makes a load in my chest that is bigger than the safe at the bank,and more valuable to me than all the gold inside it.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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83b02bd
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Mama told me to make a special point to remember the best times of my life. There are so many hard things to live through, and latching on to the good things will give you strength to endure, she says. So I must remember this day. It is beautiful and this seems like the best time to live and the best place
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life
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Nancy E. Turner |
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1457b22
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Living is getting knocked down time and again, then standing up time and again, and once more. It's easy to act honorable when things are coming along and all your pastures are green. Plenty difficult when the ground is dried and burned and people have connived to take even that from you. I'll sell this place, or I'll lose it. I'll go on. People who don't have hard times aren't living.
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perseverance
living
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Nancy E. Turner |
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fa88ec4
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Blue Horse said to me... wisdom is not a path, it is a tree.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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5e9e2fd
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Getting out of bed is a good way to leave your troubles behind.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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a541a9d
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What a pure blessing it was to have a bath in a tub alone in a room where all you had to do was pump the water, not tote buckets. Then all you had to do was pull out the cork, not tote more buckets to the back porch--that kind of thing is easy to take lightly until you don't have it.
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blessings
thankful
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Nancy E. Turner |
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8244343
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I must think about something else for a while. But then I remember his warn arms and his big strong legs touching mine and how hard and wide his chest was and how hot his kiss was, and I got outside and feed the chickens. They are getting mighty fat.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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d1e46fe
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I have been sad almost a whole year, thinking that taking that test was somehow the end of my learning and that not having that as a possibility in my future left a big empty spot in my life that the children and the ranch didn't fill. But my life is not like that, it is a tree, and I can stay in one place and spread out in all directions, and I can do more learning shading this brood of mine than if I was all alone.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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46ed3b2
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I am not sorry, but this has hurt my heart and spirit more than all the other trials, for being forsaken is worse than being killed. (Sept 5, 1881)
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Nancy E. Turner |
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2d9d928
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Why should being quiet mean you're in love? Because, she said. That means you aren't nervous with each other, or affected, or likely to be hiding intentions behind too much conversation. A friendly silence can speak between two who will walk together a long way, she said.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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e00af0b
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Well, there is rough old Albert, as ornery as any big brother a girl could have, putting his arm around Savannah and cooing to her like a repenting hound dog, and promising her she is not common nor shameful. I watched all this and thought you just never know sometimes what's in a man's heart. When you think he is all tough nails and boards he can be different on the inside. It makes me wonder about other men I know, too.
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men
emotions
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Nancy E. Turner |
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297cf51
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It seems as if I can only thing if I write my journal, it just connects the part of my head that is busy doing things with the part that is busy thinking about everything else. I know all these pepole are so busy because they love each other and me. We are a noisy crowd of love
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writing
thinking
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Nancy E. Turner |
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806593c
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I said, Well, looks like he's pretty ornery. I wonder where he gets it? "Jack just shrugged and kissed my cheek, and then whispered in my ear, He gets it from his mother."
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Nancy E. Turner |
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74e735e
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Our children weigh hard on my heart, and thinking about them growing up honest and healthy, or just living to grow up at all, makes a load in my chest that is bigger than the safe at the bank, and more valuable to me than all the gold inside it.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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0a20be8
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I told Mama and Savannah about Ruben's proposal. That got us to talking about marriage and we laughed and cried some, and missed Papa, and it felt good to belong to each other. I don't feel as lonely today as I have in months. At least I know there are other women around me.
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women
support
talking
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Nancy E. Turner |
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0175981
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A woman who dreams of a good home with a man who holds for her only a poor love is putting a $50 saddle on a $20 horse. She'd be far better off single than riding with him.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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852b04c
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Well, he perked right up and said, Five hundred dollars? Mrs. Elliot, I believe we can be of service to you after all. "I doubt it, I told him. I made this money with the sweat of my brow and the labor of my hands and I've got the rawhide to prove it. I don't inted to leave it with any man that thinks money is confusing."
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Nancy E. Turner |
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a150350
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A clock only turns one direction
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Nancy E. Turner |
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8d4cec8
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Never forget, either of you, that there is always something greater than yourselves at work in the world. Look for it. Seek the whole truth, rather than letting the wind blow you as it will.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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d902e16
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Low down dirty ornery rotten skunk of a cussed mule-headed soldier! What's he want with my book anyway? And what kind of a way is that to write a congratulations? I am so mad I could walk clear to that fort and take him on single handed.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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3995303
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The best cure for sadness is doing something.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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b88f11f
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No wonder Mama went away in her head when Clover passed on. And then Papa. I am going to visit my Mama tomorrow and tell her I am sorry for everything I ever did that caused her sorrow or worry, and for ever wishing, during those days, that she would come back. She probably wanted to stay there. It's a wonder she came back at all. If I knew how to make myself go away in my head, I declare I would.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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7915ac0
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It is an awful thing to look on such sad circumstance and not be able to shed a tear. It is not because I do not feel for these folks, but maybe I feel too much. Part of me is glad, in a low down, mean way, that it is not Albert's or Mama's graves we are digging. Glad that it is some soldiers I don't know and neighbors and friends but not family. Lord, I must be the cussedest woman there is to think that. Finally, I felt so guilty for think..
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Nancy E. Turner |
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6a845fe
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I think my Mama and Savannah must be special people in the Lord's eyes, as they have gone about doing generous and loving things without even a second thought. For me, it seems like the only thing that comes natural is aggravation and hard word
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women
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Nancy E. Turner |
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04b71c6
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Was he he handsome?" she asked with a sly smirk. "Very. He is still, I think."
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beelzebub
cunning
wicked
hideous-beauty
devil
evil
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Nancy E. Turner |
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ac4b754
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We attended church Sunday as a family, and it was an even balance as to who was harder to keep still, the four Elliot children or Captain Elliot himself. Jack kept up a stream of secretive winks at me in a most suggestive fashion, which made me blush despite the fact that I desperately tried to maintain my composure. Two year old Suzanne squirmed in my lap but was still for him, so he bounced her quietly on his knee. The boys, true to their..
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Nancy E. Turner |
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bcfdf7b
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I thought I was leading them, but the truth was, I was just following them, holding up a lantern.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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33f7df6
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It is a hard thing to let your children near danger, and yet, I remember my Papa teaching me to fire a rifle before I could even hold it with my own strength. And if he hadn't trusted me to be careful, I would have never had faith in myself to do it.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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c58c408
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hard work is still peace compared to what can worry a person on the inside.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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99fdc23
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We have talked about Suzy and about her last days, but it's as if our lives stopped then and there. If I say anything to him about feeling lonesome, he goes outside and does some little chore. I can't tell if he is secretly blaming me, or himself, or just too full of pain to talk. That was the one thing we could always do together. I wish for the old days. I wish for the struggling days and the days of Geronimo, and the days of birthing Cha..
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loneliness
marriage
depression
death
sadness
life
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Nancy E. Turner |
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f92f912
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They were just little families cooking beans and planting and hunting a deer now and then, and having babies and laying their old folks to rest, not harming anyone, just living...I know that Indians aren't no dirtier than any white folks and cleaner than some. Not stupid, either. But I saved my breath. The likes of her isn't going to listen nor be changed in the mind just from hearing sense. Some people sense is wasted on and that's purely ..
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Nancy E. Turner |
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11b0da1
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My life is a tree and I can stay in one place and spread out in all directions, and I can do more learning shading this brood of mine than if I was all alone. I declare, it is like some other part of me made up some rules about happiness and I just went along with them without thinking. My heart is lightened so much that I am amazed at how sad I felt for so long.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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2851d14
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At times, it's better to think of exactly what is happening right in front of you every second, rather than going through things from the past in your mind.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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d5e883d
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One thing I know from living with Jack is that war, any war, stains a man deep, and nothing can get the stain out. They can wear clothes like a rancher or a banker, but the stains are under there, never far from the surface of their skin.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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e0b74bc
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I asked Mama was it a sin to do what I done, and she said no, it was the same as David slaying Goliath, it was only to save Ulyssa and the others, not because of meanness that I did it. I would do it again, too. I am not sorry, but this has hurt my heart and spirit more than all the other trials, for being forsaken is worse than being killed.
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self-defense
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Nancy E. Turner |
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8b326e3
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How could I explain to a beautiful lady in a silk dress that when I picked up her baby girl, I felt that lady's long-ago chubby shape in my arms, smelled her sunshine-touched hair? That years and years of tiny memories flitted past my heart like a flock of birds spinning on invisible air? It was the smell of the little girls, slightly wet, somewhat soapy, the smell of porridge supper, and the taste of kissed-away tears. Here in my arms were..
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Nancy E. Turner |
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def226c
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Udell was an ordinary man, I thought, but a man with an extraordinary way of thinking. That was truly worth more than gold: extraordinary thinking.
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mind
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Nancy E. Turner |
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6b94278
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Reckon women don't think like men." "Why on earth don't they learn how?" I rubbed my face. "Ain't meant to, honey." I smiled and kissed his brow. "It occurs to us to ask the same thing. Keeps the world turning, I suspect."
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Nancy E. Turner |
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8c0e069
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My life feels like a book left out on the porch, and the wind blows the pages faster and faster, turning always toward a new chapter faster than I can stop and read it.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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44007ad
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He plunges into the middle of them and it is a frightening thing. He must be fierce and wicked and brave all at the same time. I'm glad he's on our side.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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8f75184
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I am my own tapestry, then, made as I could for myself. Some holes in my fabric have been made by others, some torn by chance. Missing threads in the weave represent all those I have loved who died so long before me
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Nancy E. Turner |
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14edd9c
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Home at last, and my little ranch house looks mighty plain, but it is home to me and I am glad to see it.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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452c11f
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I can see being angry with folks. Shoot, I'd about hang Chess on the laundry line any day of the week, but I don't shun him. Shunning's no way to get over and done with your fussing. It just drives in a sword that won't come out unless the person holding it pulls first.
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Nancy E. Turner |
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a6f11e3
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I can hardly wait to read it all. But it seems I don't have three minutes to rub together. Some time soon I will take it on, maybe when Charlie is a few months older.
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Nancy E. Turner |